Most recent public comments by 2024 Ava DiNardo https://writingpartners.net/users/145 https://writingpartners.net/documents/301?scroll_to=1108 https://writingpartners.net/documents/301?scroll_to=1108 Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:01:12 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/301?scroll_to=1090 https://writingpartners.net/documents/301?scroll_to=1090 In your writing, you have effectively presented the benefits and challenges of vertical farming. Let's work on incorporating subordinate clauses to enhance the complexity and flow of your sentences. In the first paragraph, you could add a subordinate clause to provide additional information about the negative attributes of vertical farming. For example, "Some people might argue that the negative attributes of vertical farming, such as energy consumption, cost, and nutritional value, which heavily outweigh the positive attributes, are essential to consider." This addition provides a deeper insight into why some individuals hold this perspective. Furthermore, in the second paragraph, you can enhance the sentence structure by incorporating a subordinate clause. For instance, "According to Source E, 'Their vertical farming model, which was proposed with the aim of increasing the amount of agricultural land by building upwards,' illustrates another benefit where the amount of land being used is significantly smaller." By including this subordinate clause, you provide a clearer connection between the proposed model and its benefits. In the third paragraph, consider adding a subordinate clause to elaborate on the challenges of high costs associated with vertical farming. For example, "One argument from Source D states that 'These systems are really expensive to build,' highlighting a common concern among critics." This addition provides a more nuanced understanding of the viewpoint presented in Source D. As you continue to refine your writing, remember that incorporating subordinate clauses can add depth and sophistication to your sentences. They help establish relationships between ideas and provide a more comprehensive explanation of the topic at hand. As your awareness of the use of complex sentences and subordinate clauses grows, you will start to recognize why some writing sounds better than others. When we look at an accomplished author’s writing, we begin to understand why using the subordinate clause is so effective. As you begin to notice these things when you read, you can replicate what great authors do when you write. I encourage you to edit lines, sentences, and paragraphs in your text. If you are the owner of the document, you can double-click on any sentence or paragraph, edit and update. Keep practicing the incorporation of subordinate clauses to enhance the sophistication of your writing further. Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:01:13 -0400