Most recent public comments by Han Nguyen https://writingpartners.net/users/146 https://writingpartners.net/documents/296?scroll_to=1106 https://writingpartners.net/documents/296?scroll_to=1106 Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:00:53 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/296?scroll_to=1094 https://writingpartners.net/documents/296?scroll_to=1094 Your writing on vertical farms is informative and well-structured. Let's focus on incorporating subordinate clauses to enhance the sophistication of your sentences. In your text, you have already used a concessive clause: "Though critics often mention the costs associated with building and maintaining vertical farms, these costs are often balanced out by the price of labor, chemicals, and other farming equipment seen on traditional farms that vertical farms do not need to account for." This sentence introduces a contrasting idea within your argument, adding depth to your writing. To further improve your writing, consider adding more subordinate clauses to vary your sentence structure. For example, you could say, "While critics raise concerns about the initial costs of vertical farms, the long-term benefits outweigh these financial considerations." This sentence introduces a concessive clause at the beginning, enhancing the flow and complexity of your argument. As you continue to refine your writing, remember that incorporating subordinate clauses can help you express complex ideas more effectively. They provide a deeper level of detail and sophistication to your sentences, making your writing more engaging and persuasive. As your awareness of the use of complex sentences and the subordinate clause grows, you will start to recognize why some writing sounds better than others. When we look at an accomplished author’s writing, we begin to understand why using the subordinate clause is so effective. As you begin to notice these things when you read, you can replicate what great authors do when you write. I encourage you to edit lines, sentences, and paragraphs in your text. If you are the owner of the document, you can double-click on any sentence or paragraph, edit, and update. Keep up the good work in incorporating subordinate clauses to elevate your writing further. Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:00:53 -0400