Most recent public comments by 2024 Haven Walker https://writingpartners.net/users/151 https://writingpartners.net/documents/305?scroll_to=1109 https://writingpartners.net/documents/305?scroll_to=1109 This feedback helped to summarize the main ideas and thoughts in my text. Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:01:20 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/305?scroll_to=1099 https://writingpartners.net/documents/305?scroll_to=1099 Your writing shows a strong belief in the benefits of vertical farming. Let's work on revising and enhancing your text. Incorporating subordinate clauses into your writing can help vary your sentence structure and make your writing more engaging. One way to do this is by using subordinating conjunctions to connect dependent and independent clauses. For example, in your text, you could revise a sentence like this: "Vertical farming allows growers to grow regional or seasonal crops indoors year-round." to "Since vertical farming allows growers to grow regional or seasonal crops indoors year-round, they can cultivate crops in any location where a greenhouse or controlled environment can be established." By incorporating subordinate clauses, you can provide more context and information in your sentences. For instance, in the sentence, "In order to counteract this inability to feed this population, a new and more efficient way of farming is necessary, such as the vertical farming method," you can add a subordinate clause to provide more detail: "In order to counteract this inability to feed this population, which has been evident in many other countries, a new and more efficient way of farming is necessary, such as the vertical farming method." As your awareness of the use of complex sentences and the subordinate clause grows, you will start to recognize why some writing sounds better than others. When we look at an accomplished author’s writing, we begin to understand why using the subordinate clause is so effective. As you begin to notice these things when you read, you can replicate what great authors do when you write. I encourage you to edit lines, sentences, and paragraphs in your text. If you are the owner of the document, you can double-click on any sentence or paragraph, edit and update. By incorporating subordinate clauses effectively, you can enhance the flow and sophistication of your writing. Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:01:20 -0400