Comments by 2026 Massaer Mbodj

The pigs become indistinguishable from humans, proving the revolution failed and power fully corrupted them.

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 10:30:26 -0500

Boxer’s death shows how the hardworking are exploited and discarded by corrupt leaders.

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 10:29:45 -0500

Napoleon is treated like a god, revealing how propaganda creates blind loyalty.

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 10:26:48 -0500

Public confessions and executions show how terror is used to control the population.

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 16:36:23 -0500

Napoleon taking control by using fear and force. Snowball is driven away, and the farm begins to turn into a dictatorship.

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 09:56:41 -0500

ARE MY EVIDENCES GOOD ENOUGH

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 16:02:43 -0500

Your evidences are solid and definitely on the right track for supporting your claim. Each one clearly shows a situation where people *choose* safety or comfort over full freedom. What they need now is mostly tightening, not replacing. Here’s the next thing to think about: for each of your three evidence sections (technology, government, social pressure), how clearly are you answering this question: > “How does this specific example prove Mencken’s idea that the average person would rather be safe than free?” If you look back at each evidence paragraph, where do you *explicitly* connect the example back to Mencken’s quote or to your main claim, and where is that connection only implied? Do you want to see more?

HOW CAN MAKE THIS ESSAY BETTER MAKE MY ARGUMENTS MORE UNDERSTANDABLE

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 16:02:43 -0500

Your argument is already clear and thoughtful; what you mostly need now is more *signposting* and sharper connections so the reader sees exactly how each example proves Mencken right (or shows the limits of his claim). One move you could make is to go back to your **claim paragraph** and add one specific sentence that previews your three main areas: technology, government, and social life. For example, you could name those three directly so your reader knows what is coming and how each one relates to “trading freedom for safety.” How would you describe each of your three body-paragraph topics in one short phrase that clearly connects to Mencken’s quote? Do you want to see more?

what can be better

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 13:33:12 -0500

I see how you’re thinking about ways to grow your arguments—that’s exactly how strong writers move! Picking out questions to focus on before writing gives you clarity, and makes it easier for you to stay connected to your audience. Now, looking at these choices, which one feels like it hits closest to home for you or your community? Sometimes pulling a question that speaks directly to what’s around us makes the argument more powerful and relevant for readers who share our background, language, or values. Do you want to keep going and check out the Questions for Writing step?

make my arguments better to defend my claim

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 13:33:12 -0500

You are WRITING. Let’s strengthen your arguments step by step! I’ll guide you through three phases—Questions for Exploration, Questions for Writing, and MAPS. Here’s the first: ---

Questions for Exploration

1. How does religion help young people make good decisions in their daily lives?

This question is interesting because it lets you show real examples and explain how specific beliefs or practices guide behavior.
Quote from your draft: “Religion becomes a foundation for moral decision-making.”
Quote: “Religion guides their daily choices through moral and spiritual teachings.”

2. Why does religion motivate young people to work harder in school or life?

This angle lets you argue that faith isn’t just spiritual—it also affects motivation and effort in practical ways.
Quote: “Religious beliefs often encourage discipline, responsibility, and hard work...”
Quote: “When young people see education as a way to fulfill a spiritual purpose, they take school more seriously...”

3. Does religion always have a positive effect on young people’s freedom and choices?

This question helps you address counterarguments, which makes your essay stronger and shows you are thoughtful and fair.
Quote: “Some people argue that religion can limit freedom or create pressure for young people to follow strict rules.”
Quote: “...many still find that religion gives them a sense of purpose and belonging...”

---

Recommendations:

Pick one of these questions as your main focus.
Think about why this question feels important or interesting to you.
Be ready to give examples, evidence, and maybe even stories or quotes to support your answer.

--- If we want to build really strong arguments, it helps to start by asking ourselves deep questions about our topic. Each of these inquiry questions can lead you to clearer, more specific claims—and to evidence that makes your case stronger! Which one stands out to you, and why do you think it would make a good focus for your writing? Would you like to see the next step—Questions for Writing? If so, just say “yes” or “show me more!” And remember: Try it yourself! These are just examples. Pick a topic from your own interests and experiences to start composing. We can't wait to see what you have to say about your chosen topic. Start your composition right over there on the left side by adding to the document.

how can I make my arguments better

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 13:33:12 -0500