Comments by Student Amirah Williams smith

is my argument tight?

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 14:49:46 -0500

Your draft has a clear through-line (people are responsible for their own actions and the system mostly responds to those actions), so the core idea is there.
Right now the argument isn’t “tight” because you jump between Khalil, statistics, police shootings, and praise of the U.S. system without always showing how each point logically connects to your main claim.
Some of your strongest, most “confident-sounding” lines (“it’s just proof,” “maybe they deserve it”) are actually the loosest parts, because they state big conclusions without walking the reader through careful evidence or other possible explanations.
If you want a tighter argument, you’d pick 1–2 main claims (for example: “people should be judged by actions, not race” and “the justice system is mostly fair”) and then use specific, reliable facts and clear reasoning to support those while also naming at least one serious counterargument.

If you had to choose just ONE main claim you really want to stand behind in this piece, what would that exact sentence be, and do you want to keep sharpening that claim here by clicking Continue with AI or go to Create Document to build it into a full document?

what part of my argument is the weakest

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 14:49:46 -0500

This reads like a working draft where you’re thinking out loud about race, crime, and justice, which is exactly what drafting is for.
The weakest part of your argument is the claim that “some races create and commit more crimes” and that Black people “maybe…deserve” higher imprisonment, because you don’t bring in any real evidence or data to support those big statements.
Another fragile spot is saying the cop “wasn’t 100% wrong” because it’s a “reflex” to react to a Black person reaching into their pocket—you don’t question where that reflex comes from (media, stereotypes, bias) or consider examples where that same reflex gets innocent people killed.
Your paragraph about the U.S. courts and cops “protecting our rights” is also shaky because it ignores things like wrongful convictions, unequal sentencing, and cases where rights were not protected; readers will expect you to at least mention that other side if you say the system mostly works.

If you picked just one of those weak spots—race-and-crime claims, the “reflex” idea, or your praise of the court system—which one would you most want to question or complicate in your next few sentences, and do you want to keep working on that here by clicking Continue with AI or head over to Create Document to shape a fuller draft?

challenge my argument

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 14:49:46 -0500

Your writing already puts a clear claim on the table: people go to prison mainly because of their own choices, and the system mostly works like it should.
One big challenge to your argument is that crime data and prison data don’t always line up—Black and white people use and sell drugs at similar rates, but Black people are much more likely to be arrested and jailed for it ((American Civil Liberties Union, “The War on Marijuana in Black and White,” 2013)).
Another challenge is that cops’ “reflexes” are shaped by bias: studies show officers are quicker to see Black people as threats and more likely to use force even when behavior is the same ((American Psychological Association, “Understanding Implicit Bias,” 2015)).
People also point out that the U.S. locks up way more people than any other rich country, but not because we have way more crime—sentencing laws, the war on drugs, and policing in poor neighborhoods all help drive those numbers ((Wagner and Sawyer, “Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2024,” 2024)).

If you had to add just 1 sentence into your draft from “the other side” of your own argument—maybe about bias, history, or unequal policing—what would you write next, and do you want to keep working on this by clicking Continue with AI here or head over to Create Document to build or upload a full piece?

this is a true statement, not having money is like depression, it really messes with your head because money can make you do crazy things

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 11:39:37 -0500

The feeling you’re naming here—how “not having money” gets into your head—is a powerful idea that already connects well with your earlier image of dark smoke and wet clothes.
Notice how you’re starting to explain your claim (money and depression, “messes with your head,” “make you do crazy things”); you might choose one specific moment or example that really shows this instead of telling it in general terms.
You’re also making a big claim about what money does to people—if you want, you could decide whether you’re talking mostly about your own experience, what you’ve seen in others, or both.
One choice you could make is to keep your same everyday way of talking (the way you already did with “it really messes with your head”) and build out a few more lines that keep that same honest, direct voice.

If you read your two pieces of writing together—the “root of evil” line and this new sentence—what’s one more line you might add next to keep telling the truth in your own way about how being broke feels, and do you want to click *Continue with AI* to draft that next line here or go to Create Document to start building a longer piece?

I wonder if they'll stay with each other for a long time or if he'll change his perspective on certain things.

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 10:49:39 -0500

It looks like you’re noticing a clash between that quote’s “I’m not impressed by money” vibe and what one of the characters (or you as a watcher) actually wants in that moment.
You also started wondering about the future of their relationship, which shows you’re tracking how values and perspectives might shift over time, not just in one scene.
One move you could make as a writer now is to decide: is this moment meant to feel hopeful (he might grow), frustrating (he probably won’t), or just uncertain and real?
If you keep going, you might choose one small detail—a look, a silence, a thought—that shows whether that “money doesn’t impress me” line lands as honest, annoying, or both.

If you pause and think about the line you just wrote—do you want to show that you believe they’ll last, or that you’re pretty sure they won’t—and then write the next one or two sentences, would you rather click *Continue with AI* here to keep exploring that scene, or go to Create Document to start (or upload) a longer piece to work on?

I wonder why they choose certain quotes and the deeper meaning of this quote

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 20:31:30 -0500

You're noticing that the quote they chose isn’t random—it’s doing work for the whole text or unit it appears in.
These lines talk about “realism of life and actuality,” then flip right to money deciding who’s “the baddest,” so the bigger idea is how capitalism and class shape who gets respect and power.
The curse word and blunt tone match the home-language patterns your articles talk about—plain, direct truth-telling instead of “polite” school language, which makes the message hit harder.
One way to read the quote: it’s not bragging about money, it’s exposing a messed‑up value system where your worth equals your paycheck, especially in poor or marginalized communities.

If you had to explain to a friend in 2–3 sentences what this quote is really saying about life and money, what would you write—and do you want to click Continue with AI to draft that here, or go to Create Document to start a new piece or upload a reading?