Comments by Brian Central

Statistical Evidence

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 13:03:54 -0400

I love how you used statistics as evidence. The detailed statistics support your point in proving how healthcare costs are rising too high.

Personal Experience

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:56:44 -0400

I loved how you used a personal experience of talking to your mother about doing poorly in school. Using personal experience helped in connecting to the idea of your paragraph that communication is important for mental health.

Same Quote

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:52:47 -0400

I love how you used the same quote I used from Elie Wiesel at the Nobel Peace Prize about how we should never fail to protest injustice.

Analysis Lengthened

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:50:22 -0400

I think the ideas are good but I feel the analysis could be more in-depth. For example, for job opportunities, you can explain why job opportunities aren't equal.

Amazing Metaphor

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:47:24 -0400

I love the metaphor of ripping off a beautiful wall to reveal to the citizens that they don't currently have much power.

Diction

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:42:43 -0400

I love the diction you used, particularly how you used powerful words like advocate and principles to nail your idea of the importance of spreading ideas for equality.

Suggested Rewording

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:37:41 -0400

Change to "This issue has affected me when I was young because I was criticized for having black friends."

Evidence of How Social Injustice Happens.

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 17:52:19 -0400

I like how the author doesn't just have evidence to support her argument of how to create social justice but also evidence to support how social injustice occurs to perfect their argument.

Very Detailed Personal Evidence

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 17:37:25 -0400

I like how they described it with powerful imagery when telling their personal examples of social injustice. For example, how their middle school was disadvantaged and how it affected them.

Real-Life Examples

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 17:33:43 -0400

I like how common real-life examples are used as evidence. It leads to a solid definition of what racism is and what it is to the author.

I'm ready for step 2

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 13:16:32 -0400

Step 2: How to Publish Your Document

When you’re ready to publish your document, follow these steps to add it to the Youth Voices Collection: - First, make sure you’ve joined the Youth Voices group or have been added by an admin. You can join here: [Youth Voices Group](https://writingpartners.net/groups/youthvoices). - Create an engaging headline for your document. Use the [Headline Hero Writing Partner](https://writingpartners.net/partners/247) to craft an amazing title.

Here's how to change your title:

– To change your title, hover over More and click on Properties, then Edit. Scroll down to the Title box, write your new title, and hit the Finish button at the bottom.

Here's how to add your document to the Youth Voices public collection

- While viewing your document, hover over the More tab at the top and select Add to a Collection. - In the Collection drop-down menu, choose Youth Voices, then click Add. If prompted that your document will become public, confirm by clicking Yes, continue. - Write a two-sentence preview of your document in the Excerpt text box. Make it intriguing! - Add an image by clicking on Choose File next to “Add an Image”, then hit Add. Once you’re done with Step 2, let me know if you’re ready for Step 3!

I'm ready to go public

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 13:16:04 -0400

Great! Now let's move on to Step 2.

Step 2: How to Publish Your Document

Here's how to change your title:

– To change your title, hover over More and click on Properties, then Edit. Scroll down to the Title box, write your new title, and hit the Finish button at the bottom.