Most recent public comments by JasonL91 Central https://writingpartners.net/users/882 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2352?scroll_to=17725 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2352?scroll_to=17725 I really like how you structure your introduction and the rest of the essay. I think one thing you can do is show an example of how gun violence affects mostly females. I think a lot of people would assume it would affect both genders equally. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 22:06:39 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2347?scroll_to=17724 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2347?scroll_to=17724 I think the examples you've used are very good and very realistic. It's an issue that exists and is one of the main reasons racism is a very prevalent issue. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 22:03:12 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2428?scroll_to=17722 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2428?scroll_to=17722 This conclusion is very well done, it summarizes your original point and adds the new added examples to display your point. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 21:56:54 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2369?scroll_to=17720 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2369?scroll_to=17720 I find this idea to be the most logical step. While not everyone will change, it's important to try regardless. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 21:52:02 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2420?scroll_to=17719 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2420?scroll_to=17719 I like all of these examples, but I think it would be better if you used less time to explain animal farm and instead explain your thoughts better. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 21:44:56 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2377?scroll_to=17577 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2377?scroll_to=17577 The fear of not achieving your goals because of factors you can't control is one that is sadly common, but it's a great representation of the social injustice this is present. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 15:03:17 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2311?scroll_to=17568 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2311?scroll_to=17568 I think your idea of learning about the community of people is a great idea that I haven't heard yet from all the other essays. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 14:50:17 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2291?scroll_to=17557 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2291?scroll_to=17557 The sentiment on WNBA/NBA pay issue is one often used to highlight the sexism present in our society, but I agree with your stance. Equality gives everyone equal opportunities. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 14:41:21 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2330?scroll_to=17541 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2330?scroll_to=17541 I think it's a very short essay. You have good ideas, but I think if it were longer, it would be more complete. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 14:33:48 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2338?scroll_to=17531 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2338?scroll_to=17531 I think social injustice may never truly be eradicated, I think it's a good thought mindset to think eventually it can be eradicated. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 14:28:18 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2336?scroll_to=17526 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2336?scroll_to=17526 I think the book you mentioned "Why are all the Black kids sitting together" is an insightful book with many great ideas. I think it would be great if you included information on how the book was trying to fight systemic racism. Thu, 31 Oct 2024 14:24:49 -0400 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2343?scroll_to=16936 https://writingpartners.net/documents/2343?scroll_to=16936 ### Prompts and Strategies for Writing Your Own 1. **Use Power Words**: Begin by identifying words or phrases in your essay that evoke strong emotions or curiosity. Look for themes like "peace," "justice," or "illusion" and think about how you can highlight them. For example, if your essay discusses the transformative power of love and justice, you might consider words like "transform," "empower," or "revolutionize" in your headline. Think about how you can capture the essence of your essay in a way that makes it feel urgent or necessary. 2. **Incorporate Numbers**: Consider if there are any lists or steps within your essay that could be highlighted. For instance, if your essay outlines key steps or principles for achieving social justice, you might create a headline like "5 Lessons from History's Greatest Movements." Think about how to frame these points as crucial takeaways for your reader. 3. **Create Urgency**: Reflect on the urgent themes in your essay. What makes your message relevant right now? You could use phrases that convey the necessity of action, such as "The Time for Justice is Now" or "Immediate Changes Needed for True Peace." Consider what will make your audience feel compelled to read and act upon the ideas you present. 4. **Ask Provocative Questions**: Identify a central question your essay addresses or challenges. Could you turn this into a headline that draws readers in? For example, "Is Peace an Illusion Without Justice?" encourages readers to ponder and explore your essay for answers. Think about the questions that your essay raises and how they can be framed to engage your audience. 5. **Use Humor or Puns**: If appropriate for your essay's tone, consider a play on words or a clever twist. This can make your headline memorable and engaging. For instance, if your essay talks about nonviolent actions leading to peace, you could explore headlines like "Love, Not War: Marching Towards Justice." This approach can lighten the tone and make complex themes more accessible. Choose one of these strategies to craft your own headline. Write your headline in a *Reply*, and then ask for feedback in a *Reply with AI* by selecting me. Also, remember to get feedback from your teacher or classmates on your headline. Wed, 30 Oct 2024 15:07:09 -0400