La Plata - a post on Youth Voices by a 9th Grader
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In English, my second language
My country is a tourist country, it has many tourists and beautiful places but the economy for those who live there is not very good, it is very difficult for those Dominicans who do not have good economic stability, they do not have a way to support themselves, many people are professionals and whatever that profession wants. It is of no use to him because he cannot find work.
The only people who can enjoy that country are those people who are financially well off, who can cover their expenses and enjoy the same things that tourists can do when they go to the Dominican Republic. Those tourists can enjoy many things in my country because the dollar in my country has a lot of value.
Because of the economy and situations such as people with university degrees who do not have a job, this makes the person go to another country to emigrate to help their family and be able to give them what they could not give in their country when they emigrate to another country. the country they work a lot although at first, it is hard because it is in a new country for you and you go through many things however you want you can get ahead.
Those people who spend their time can now be stable and can have what was difficult to achieve in their country, and their economy is better. They can send money to their family with all the sacrifice of a lot of work. With the work they do here, they can achieve many things. Things in the Dominican Republic like making your home, starting your own business, and many other things.
En español, mi lengua materna
Mi país es un país turististico tiene mucho lugares turístico y hermoso pero la economía para aquellos que viven allá no es muy buena es muy difícil para aquellos dominicanos que no tienen una buena estabilidad economica no tienen como mantenerse muchas personas son profesionale y como quiera esa profesión no le sirve para nada porque no encuentra trabajo.
Las únicas personas que pueden disfrutar de ese país son aquellas personas que estan bien economicamente que pueden suplir sus gasto y disfrutar de lo mismo que puede hacer el turista cuando va a república dominicana aquellos turista puede disfrutar de muchas cosa en mi país porque el dolar en mi país tiene mucho valor.
Por culpa de la economía y las situaciones como personas con subtítulos universitario no tienen trabajo eso hace que la persona vayan a otro país a emigrar para así poder ayudar a su familia y poder darle lo que en su país no le pudo dar cuando emigran en otro país trabajan bastante aunque al principio es duro porque está en un país nuevo para ti que pasas por muchas cosas como quieras puedes salir adelante.
Aquellas persona a pasar el tiempo ya pueden estar estables y pueden tener lo que en su país era difícil de lograrlo ya su economia es mejor pueden mandarle dinero a su familia con todo el sacrificio de mucho trabajo con el trabajo que hacen aqui pueden lograr hacer muchas cosas en república dominicana como hacer su casa poner su propio negocio como muchas cosas más.
General Document Comments 0
Your essay has a lot of heart and clearly conveys the struggles and hopes of Dominicans both at home and abroad. It’s commendable that you wrote it in both English and Spanish, and your message is quite powerful. Let’s build on that!
In the English section, consider breaking up your sentences to make them clearer and more impactful. For example:
“My country is a tourist destination with many visitors and beautiful places. However, the economy for those living there is not very good. It is very difficult for Dominicans without good economic stability to support themselves. Many people are professionals, but their professions are of no use because they cannot find work.”
For the Spanish section, your voice comes through strongly. Let’s amplify that by refining some phrases:
“Mi país es un país turístico con muchos lugares hermosos, pero la economía para quienes viven allí no es muy buena. Es muy difícil para los dominicanos que no tienen una buena estabilidad económica mantenerse. Muchas personas son profesionales, pero esa profesión no les sirve de nada porque no encuentran trabajo.”
You’re doing an excellent job of expressing the economic divide and the resilience of those who emigrate to support their families. What other aspects of the Dominican experience or culture could you include to enrich your essay further? For instance, you might want to describe some specific tourist attractions or delve into personal stories that highlight the challenges and triumphs of Dominican emigrants.
Your essay highlights some critical issues faced by many Dominicans, especially the economic disparities and the challenges of finding stable employment. You paint a vivid picture of the struggles and sacrifices people make to support their families.
Imagine if, in addition to the economic aspects, you also included personal stories or anecdotes from individuals who have gone through this journey. It would add a layer of emotional depth and make your essay even more compelling.
For instance, you could share a story about a friend or family member who moved abroad, the challenges they faced, and how they overcame them. This could really bring your points to life and make the reader feel more connected to the experiences you’re describing.
What do you think?
on the uploaded document.
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