College Application Essay Draft
Author: Mina Pseudonym
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Assignement: Share an essay on any topic of your choice.
When people see me tearing away sticky, bright, soda bottle labels, crushing used coffee cups, and stuffing loose clothing tags and other seemingly useless pieces of trash into my purse and pockets, they often pin me with questioning eyes. In truth, I’m not being a good Samaritan and picking up all the litter on the streets; I’m collecting these bits of garbage for my Junk Journal.
This journal, an overstuffed, leatherbound monstrosity, is something I began when I was a freshman. I picked up every piece of trash I saw and blended it with printed photos, fun scrapbook paper, and small doodles to create pieces of art to reflect my days. I found I absolutely loved it. Transforming others' discarded items into something beautiful brought me joy. I cherished the junk. But, as my high school years dragged on, I began to experience real-life junk of my own. This garbage felt different. It wasn’t something that I could just throw away, like a bright pink Baskin-Robbins napkin. I couldn’t crumple these trashy pieces of life up; I had to learn to weave them into the journal pages of my life.
The first piece of garbage to infiltrate my high school life came in the form of division within my friendships. From an early age, my friends have been the most important thing in my life. I lived for playdates, sleepovers, and recess with my best friends. When I was younger, I thought all my friends were BFFs (best friends forever), but, sadly, I came to learn that was not the case. As much as I reached out or tried to save my middle school relationships, they faded away just the same. As I continued to make new friends in high school, I yearned for the perfect relationship, but we fought, and fought big. The friends I made Freshman year, I lost two years later, and I was beyond devastated. I tried to hide it, I kept smiling and sitting at the lunch table, but inside I was torn apart. I didn’t want to take this piece of garbage home with me anymore.
Later, on a trip to Mexico, the summer before my Junior year, I contracted a severe strain of E. Coli. I suffered with it for a month, experiencing numerous hospital visits, severe weight loss, and a massive blow to my self-confidence. I felt weak. Three months after I had healed, my hair began to fall out in chunks, and my skin started to flare up. I could hardly look at myself in the mirror, let alone find love for myself and others. This piece of junk in my life’s journal was smeared and stomped on time and time again, and I wished to throw it in a dumpster and never see it again.
While high school continued, more academic stress, the aftermath of E.coli, and further relationship challenges piled up in my heap of junk, throughout it all, I found I had a tool I could use to combat these ugly parts of life: my journal. If I could take the most unwanted bits of life and work to transform them into something compelling in the pages of my journal, why didn’t I do the same with the garbage I was experiencing day to day?
As I continued to glue ticket stubs and rip flyers, I learned to take on my challenges from a different perspective. My friendship problems, though gut-wrenching, showed me how much I cared about the people in my life. I didn’t have to paste on a new personality just to make people enjoy my company; I just had to be proud of myself. The E. Coli I experienced, while physically and emotionally damaging, forced me to look inside myself. Just like flipping a dirty candy wrapper over to find a vibrant and shiny print on the other side. The hobby that has garnered me confused stares for years forced me to zoom out and take on life with positivity.
General Document Comments 5
Mina Pseudonym's Question
:
What do you think of my college admissions essay so far?
Questions for Exploration
Inquiry Question 1:
How does creating a Junk Journal help me process and transform difficult experiences in my life?
- This could be interesting to write about because your essay shows a deep connection between art, memory, and resilience. Exploring how the act of turning ‘garbage’ into art parallels your emotional growth can make for a unique and personal essay.
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Quotes that support this:
- “Transforming others’ discarded items into something beautiful brought me joy. I cherished the junk.”
- “If I could take the most unwanted bits of life and work to transform them into something compelling in the pages of my journal, why didn’t I do the same with the garbage I was experiencing day to day?”
Inquiry Question 2:
How have friendship challenges shaped my sense of identity and self-confidence throughout high school?
- This question could guide a powerful narrative about growth and change. Your struggles with friendships are honest and relatable, and focusing on this could help readers see how you have changed over time.
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Quotes that support this:
- “The friends I made Freshman year, I lost two years later, and I was beyond devastated.”
- “I didn’t have to paste on a new personality just to make people enjoy my company; I just had to be proud of myself.”
Inquiry Question 3:
What lessons did I learn from overcoming a serious illness, and how did it change the way I see myself?
- Writing about this could show your resilience and ability to work through adversity. It also gives you a chance to reflect on how a difficult experience changed your outlook on life and on yourself.
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Quotes that support this:
- “I suffered with it for a month, experiencing numerous hospital visits, severe weight loss, and a massive blow to my self-confidence. I felt weak.”
- “The E. Coli I experienced, while physically and emotionally damaging, forced me to look inside myself.”
Recommendations for You:
- Choose the topic that feels most meaningful or exciting for you to explore further.
- Think about which question lets you show the most growth, insight, or unique perspective.
- Try jotting down a few sentences or ideas for each to see which one feels the most promising.
Before we move on, which of these three inquiry questions interests you the most, and why might you want to write about that? If you’d like, you can tell me your thoughts on each, or just pick one that stands out!
Ready for the next step? The next section will give you some practical questions to help you jumpstart your writing on your chosen topic. It’ll help you break down your ideas and focus your story—almost like laying out the pieces before you start gluing them together in your Junk Journal! Would you like to see the next section?
Try it yourself! Remember, my examples are just starting points. Pick the topic that speaks to you and start your own composition—your story is unique, and we can’t wait to see what you have to say! Add to Document, invent a working title, and let the ideas flow!
Mina Pseudonym's Question
:
Does my essay make cohesive sense? is there a clear "so what?" to it?
You asked if your essay makes cohesive sense and if there’s a clear “so what?” to it. Your essay’s narrative is strong and cohesive; you weave your literal habit of collecting “junk” with the metaphorical “junk” of life’s hardships, using your journal as the thread that ties these experiences together. However, when I look for the “so what?”—the section where you step back from the story and speak directly to the reader about why your journey matters in a larger context—I feel you are on the verge but haven’t fully delivered it yet. This is the moment where you should pull away from your story and reflect: why does transforming life’s “junk” into something meaningful matter not just for you, but for your audience, including the college admissions committee? Why should your readers care about your way of handling adversity? This is the “so what?” section Jessica Singer Early describes, and it’s where you connect personal experience to a larger, relatable message.
You’re performing your identity beautifully, but to make your “so what?” resonate for an outside audience, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself: What did you learn that others might need to hear? Why should a college want someone who turns adversity into art? How might your story inspire or connect with people you’ve never met? If you want, I can guide you through brainstorming how to answer these big “so what?” questions, help you clarify the lesson you want to communicate, or offer strategies for writing a compelling reflective conclusion. Which path would you like to take—or do you have another area in mind? Let’s turn up the volume on your message and craft a plan for an unforgettable “so what?” section! Tell me your next steps, and let me know what else you want to work on as you revise!
Mina Pseudonym's Question
:
based on the previous suggestions, could you guide me through brainstorming to answer the "so what?"
You’re asking for guidance on brainstorming your “so what?”—the part of your essay where you move beyond just recounting your experiences to show readers why your story matters to them. You’ve already shared a vivid, relatable narrative about transforming both literal and metaphorical “junk” into something meaningful, but now you need to step back and articulate the broader lesson. To brainstorm, ask yourself: How has this habit shaped who you are today? What qualities have you developed that a college community would benefit from? Why is your approach to challenges something others should notice or value? This is your chance to directly address your reader, showing them not just what happened, but why it matters for anyone who faces setbacks or feels discarded.
Now, imagine your audience—college admissions readers—looking for a reason to root for you and see you as part of their community. What message do you want them to walk away with? Do you want to highlight resilience, creativity, or the ability to find meaning in unexpected places? I can help you clarify your core message, discuss strategies for making your reflection persuasive, or guide you on how to connect your story to universal themes. Which of these brainstorming routes excites you the most—or would you like to combine them? Let’s supercharge your next draft: write out a quick plan for how you’ll tackle your “so what?” section, step by step, and tell me what other areas you’re curious to explore as you revise!
Mina Pseudonym's Question
:
i definitely want to define my core message as being looking on the bright side/finding positivity in the hard stuff. It makes sense for me to conclude with that, so would that work with the rest of my essay so far?
You want to know if defining your core message as “looking on the bright side/finding positivity in the hard stuff” will work with the rest of your essay, and how you can conclude with that in a way that makes sense. Your essay already does a fantastic job performing your identity by using your Junk Journal as both a literal and metaphorical device—showing how you make meaning out of discarded or painful experiences. But to fully deliver the “So What?” section, you need to step away from your story at the end and speak directly to the reader: make it crystal clear what lesson you’ve learned and why your perspective matters to people beyond yourself. This is where you connect your positivity and resilience to what you can bring to a college community, and why admissions officers should care about how you handle adversity.
As you approach this “So What?” moment, ask yourself: What can your story offer to someone who doesn’t know you? How might your approach inspire others facing their own “junk”? Why is your way of seeing positivity not just personal, but valuable for your future classmates? If you’d like, we can brainstorm questions that clarify your overarching message, discuss how to make your reflective conclusion persuasive, or explore techniques for shifting from storytelling to direct reader engagement. Which path do you want to take next—or do you want to blend a few? Let’s blast off and outline your plan for an unforgettable “so what?” section! Share your step-by-step approach, and tell me what else you want to work on as you revise!
Mina Pseudonym's Question
:
lets brainstorm some questions to calrify for sure. Also, would i literally say "this quality makes me a good fit for college" or should I be more general?
You’re thinking deeply about how to clarify your “so what?” and whether you should state outright that your qualities make you a good fit for college, or keep it more general. When you craft your “so what?” section, you want to step back from your story and reflect directly on the lesson learned—why your approach to turning life’s “junk” into meaning matters for others, especially for your audience of college admissions officers. Instead of literally saying, “this quality makes me a good fit for college,” try reflecting on how this way of seeing the world will allow you to contribute to, grow in, and connect with a college community. The goal is to show—not just tell—how your perspective will resonate with or benefit others.
To brainstorm your “so what?” questions, ask yourself: What lesson does my story offer to someone who’s never met me? Why should a college value someone who can find meaning in adversity? How might my resilience or positivity inspire or support peers in a campus setting? If you want, we can dig into how to phrase your “so what?” for maximum impact, explore ways to connect your story to universal themes, or discuss how to balance directness and subtlety when addressing your audience. Which direction excites you most, or is there something else you want to focus on? Let’s take your essay to the next level—sketch out your plan for your “so what?” section, step by step, and let me know what else you’d like to work on as you revise!
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