Hamlet & Existentialism

Score Overview (per AP Literature and Composition Rubric):
- Thesis: 1/1
- Evidence & Commentary: 1/4
- Sophistication: 0/1
Total: 2/6

1. Thesis

- Rubric Alignment: Clear claim that Hamlet is “existential,” with brief reasoning.
- Strength: Responds to the prompt with an arguable, defensible interpretation.
- Growth Target: Make the thesis more specific about what existentialism means for Hamlet’s experience.

2. Evidence & Commentary

- Rubric Alignment: Some text-based events are described (the ghost, “to be or not to be”), but evidence is general and mainly summarized. Connections to existentialism are asserted but not developed.
- Strength: References major moments in the play linked to the theme.
- Growth Target:
– Use direct, specific quotations or specific references.
– Expand your commentary from summary (“he is confused”) to explanation (how Hamlet’s confusion fits existential thought).
– Integrate literary techniques: How does Shakespeare use soliloquies, metaphor, or irony to show Hamlet’s existential struggle?

3. Sophistication

- Rubric Alignment: Does not yet explore complexities or demonstrate insight beyond summary. Focus stays on broad, surface-level claims.
- Strength: Attempts interpretation and links ideas to existentialism.
- Growth Target:
– Consider how Hamlet’s existential struggles create tension or raise broader questions about life, death, or meaning.
– Address alternative perspectives: Could Hamlet’s inaction be seen as strategy rather than confusion?
– Try to add complexity or context for your argument.

4. Invitations for Revision and Next Steps (choose one or more):

- a. Clarify and focus your thesis: What about Hamlet’s thinking is uniquely existential, not just confused? What big idea about life or self emerges in his struggle?
- b. Deepen evidence and commentary: Select a specific moment (e.g., “To be or not to be” soliloquy, ghost scene, or play-within-a-play) and give a direct quote or vivid description. Then, explain how this moment embodies existentialism.
- c. Engage more complexity: What are the consequences of Hamlet’s existential thinking? How does it affect his actions or relationships? Consider both benefits (awareness, questioning) and costs (indecision, pain).

Choose the *Your Thoughts** button to let me know your reaction to the feedback I’ve provided and how you might revise, or if there’s a specific section you want to dig in on next – select Continue with AI to ask me for more specific feedback.*

Restatement of Your Goal:
You want to make your writing voice stronger, more distinctive, and more analytical as you revise your essay on existentialism in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. No score—just revision moves and guiding questions.

Section 1: Finding Your Ideas’ Energy
- Where do you feel most interested or intrigued by Hamlet’s thinking?
- Can you pinpoint his most intense confusion or realization?
- Try to express these locations in your voice, not just summary.

Section 2: Pushing Commentary Beyond Summary
- What is uniquely existential about Hamlet?
- How might Hamlet’s questioning set him apart from other tragic heroes?
- Try: “What this shows about Hamlet’s mind is…” or “This detail reveals Hamlet’s struggle with…”

Section 3: Strengthening Specificity
- When you use quotes, can you choose lines that capture Hamlet’s mindset?
- Is “why is this” specific enough, or can you find a rich, brief quotation?
- How does Hamlet’s uncertainty *sound*—what words echo in your head from his speeches?

Section 4: Boosting Voice and Clarity
- Where do your own insights peek through?
- Can you take one moment and rewrite it in your terms, focusing on how Hamlet’s experience connects to modern feelings of uncertainty or indecision?
- Experiment: “When Hamlet ____, it reminds me of how ____.”

Section 5: Next Steps and Invitations for Revision
1. Highlight one sentence per paragraph where you find your voice most clearly—and revise it for clarity, energy, and focus.
2. Replace every vague word or phrase (“stuff like,” “he is existential”) with sharper, image-based or emotion-specific language.
3. Choose one moment in the play, quote it, and write two sentences explaining why Hamlet’s words capture an existential dilemma—use your own perspective!

Choose the *Your Thoughts** button to let me know your reaction to the feedback I’ve provided and how you might revise. Also click Your Thoughts to tell me to focus in on specific paragraphs or criteria. Always follow up by clicking Continue with AI, choose me again and ask me for more feedback.*

Restatement:
You’re seeking ways to make your writing voice more specific and clear, to elevate your analysis of *Hamlet*’s existential themes. Here are focused tips and prompts to help you revise:

1. Move Beyond Generalization

- Pinpoint places where you use words like “stuff,” “things,” or “a lot.”
- Replace these with precise concepts, emotions, or moments from the play.
- Socratic prompt: What exactly is Hamlet thinking about in key soliloquies?

2. Integrate Textual Evidence Thoughtfully

- Instead of phrases like “he says stuff like ‘why is this,’” select and integrate an exact line from the play.
- Prompt: Which line or image from Hamlet best captures his existential uncertainty? Why?

3. Deepen and Clarify Commentary

- Don’t just state Hamlet is confused—break down what’s confusing him and how that tension creates meaning.
- Try: How does Hamlet’s indecision reflect existential ideas about choice and responsibility?
- Push past summary: How do Hamlet’s actions (or lack of action) shape your interpretation of him as an existential character?

4. Revise for Voice and Insight

- Consider your audience—what do you want them to feel or realize about Hamlet’s struggle?
- Prompt: How can you connect Hamlet’s existential crisis to broader questions about human experience?
- Practice a revision move: Try rephrasing a sentence as a claim about human experience, not just Hamlet as a character.

5. Next Revision Steps & Invitations

- Read your draft out loud: Where does it sound vague or repetitive? Mark those lines.
- Annotate the play for 1–2 sharp quotes that encapsulate Hamlet’s existential doubts; integrate them into your analysis.
- Experiment with replacing summary with “how” and “why” questions to push your commentary deeper (e.g., Why is Hamlet’s delay important? How does it speak to existential themes?)
- Reflect: If you had to capture Hamlet’s worldview in one nuanced sentence, what would it be?

Choose the Your Thoughts button to let me know your reaction to the feedback I’ve provided and how you might revise. Also click Your Thoughts to tell me to focus in on specific paragraphs or criteria. Always follow up by clicking Continue with AI*, choose me again and ask me for more feedback.”*

Score: 2/6
- Thesis: 1
- Evidence & Commentary: 1
- Sophistication: 0

Restatement of Task/Feedback
You’re working on a first paragraph that connects Hamlet to existentialism, exploring how Hamlet’s thoughts and actions fit this philosophical theme.

Thesis
Your thesis attempts to link Hamlet’s indecisiveness and despair to existentialism. However, it needs a more specific, defensible claim—something arguable, not just a summary. The AP rubric values a clear claim with direction.

Evidence & Commentary
You include some textual details (“to be or not to be,” the ghost, the play test), but most evidence is paraphrased or summarized. Commentary is surface-level and drifts into repetition; it should explain how details specifically illustrate existentialism.

Sophistication
You gesture at big ideas (confusion, indecision, loneliness), but do not explore complexity, nuance, or alternative readings. The writing oversimplifies rather than delves deeper. AP sophistication comes from exploring gray areas or broader philosophical stakes.

Next Steps for Growth
1. Sharpen the thesis: What specific existential dilemma defines Hamlet? Can you make a claim about his struggle for meaning or agency?
2. Ground claims in textual evidence: Quote or closely reference key lines, and explain how Hamlet’s words (not just his feelings) reveal existential thought.
3. Move beyond summary: Why does Hamlet’s uncertainty matter? How does his philosophical struggle shape the play’s meaning or tragedy?
4. Invite complexity: Does Hamlet ever resist or challenge existential despair? Are there moments of clarity or resolve you might notice?
5. Writers grow by revising: Try reworking one section at a time (thesis, then evidence, then commentary). Read each claim and ask, “Why does this matter?” or “How do I know this?” to push your analysis deeper.

Choose the *Your Thoughts** button to let me know your reaction to the feedback I’ve provided and how you might revise. Also click Your Thoughts to tell me to focus in on specific paragraphs or criteria. Always follow up by clicking Continue with AI, choose me again and ask me for more feedback.*