[3 of 5] Midterm Exam for English 3C, December 2024
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Structure: Three Sections (30 Minutes Each)
Section 1: Textual Analysis Without a Writing Partner
Section 2: Textual Analysis With a Writing Partner
Section 3: Creative Character Image Creation and Comment
Each the first two sections include three 3-paragraph excerpts from each text and an overarching question.
Please choose one 3-paragraph excerpt in each section and comment on each paragraph in the excerpt of your choice. In your comments, explain what your chosen excerpt shows about the overarching question.
Section 1: Textual Analysis Without a Writing Partner (30 Minutes)
Design
You did a great job in writing three comments that each provide thoughtful reflections on the text. Each comment is structured with a clear purpose, relating City’s actions and memories to themes of identity and family connections. You maintain a coherent flow in each paragraph, which helps enhance comprehension. However, consider expanding a bit more on some points to reach the 8-10 sentence mark for each comment. This would allow you to explore your ideas more deeply and add more supporting details. Overall, your design demonstrates good organization and purpose.
Score: 8/10
Knowledge
You show a solid understanding of the themes of identity and resilience present in the text. You effectively use evidence from the text to support your analysis, such as mentioning City’s curiosity and the memories tied to his grandparents. However, you could delve deeper into how these themes are developed throughout the story or how they relate to larger societal or personal contexts. Pushing your analysis further could strengthen your discussion of these themes.
Score: 7/10
Application
You apply a variety of analytical skills when discussing the text, especially in drawing connections between City’s experiences and the reader’s own life. You highlight thematic connections to family and personal identity, which are essential aspects of the text. Consider exploring more about how these connections might also relate to broader community or historical contexts, which would add depth to your analysis.
Score: 7/10
Process
You appear to have taken the necessary steps to achieve your analytical goals within the time constraints. You’ve completed all aspects of the task, but there could be more attention to detail, particularly in expanding on and supporting some of your points further. This would ensure a thorough exploration of the text’s themes and enhance your overall analysis.
Score: 7/10
Presentation
Your presentation is clear, and you communicate your main ideas effectively. The language and grammar support the quality of your critique, though a bit more precision in your language choices could elevate the clarity of your analysis. Consider how varying your sentence structure and incorporating more vivid language might make your writing more engaging.
Score: 8/10
Overall Score: 37/50
You’ve demonstrated a strong understanding of the text and its themes. To improve, focus on expanding your analysis and integrating more detailed evidence and connections. This will deepen your insights and enhance the overall impact of your writing. Let me know if you want to dive deeper into any specific area!
Summarize The Feedback:
What the feedback says is that I did a good job analyzing the text, especially when I was connecting the City’s actions and memories to the themes. However, I need to expand more on my ideas, add deeper analysis, and include more details to strengthen my points. The writing I have is clear but I could make it more engaging. Overall, I’m on the right track but I should focus on going deeper into the themes and connections. I did well with connecting the City’s experiences to themes like identity and family. For example, when I discussed how his curiosity and memories of his grandparents shaped his sense of self. I also effectively used evidence from the text, like when I mentioned specific moments that showed his own thinking. My writing was clear and organized which helped me make points easier to follow.
Consider:
The feedback says that I’ve done a good job analyzing the text but I should expand my ideas, add more details, and make my writing more engaging for the reader. What I did well was connect City’s experiences to the themes of identity and family, such as when I discussed how his curiosity and memories of his grandparents shaped his sense of self. I also used clear evidence from the text, like specific moments showing his resilience, to support my analysis. What I need to work on is expanding my analysis and exploring deeper connections. This would make my analysis more thorough and impactful. My goal for next time is to write a deeper analysis with more evidence.
Improvement Goals:
One area for growth is expanding my analysis to include more detailed evidence and deeper connections. Sometimes I focus on the main points but don’t explore how themes like identity or resilience relate to broader contexts, like society or history. To fix this, I can take more time to brainstorm how the text connects to larger ideas and include specific examples to support my analysis.
Reflection:
This feedback helps me grow by showing where to improve, like adding depth and making writing more engaging. I was surprised by how small changes can make a big difference, excited that my analysis was clear and on track, and a bit confused about balancing details without being repetitive. I was a little confused about how to balance adding more details without making my writing too long or repetitive, but I think practice will help with that.
Design
You wrote multiple comments, which is great, but it seems like some of them might be fragmented or incomplete. For example, in the comment about E. Dolores, you seem to stop mid-sentence, which can disrupt the flow and clarity of your analysis. It’s important to structure each comment as a cohesive composition of 8-10 sentences, ensuring that each one has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Consider how you can expand each point to give a fuller picture of your thoughts.
Score: 6/10
Knowledge
Your writing shows an understanding of the themes of identity and resilience, particularly in how you discuss E. Dolores’s experiences at Harvard. You touch on important aspects of societal challenges and personal struggles. However, you could strengthen your analysis by incorporating more direct evidence or quotes from the text to support your points. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the material.
Score: 7/10
Application
You make thematic connections between the character’s experiences and broader societal issues, which is a good start. However, try to employ a wider variety of analytical skills and strategies. For instance, consider exploring the historical context or the character’s internal dialogue. This can sharpen your thematic connections and offer a more nuanced understanding of the text.
Score: 7/10
Process
It seems like you have addressed the task to some extent, but there might be areas where more attention to detail could enhance your analysis. For instance, ensuring that each paragraph is complete and fully formed would help in achieving your analytical goals. Consider revisiting your comments to refine and expand them further.
Score: 6/10
Presentation
You communicate your ideas clearly, but there are some grammatical issues and incomplete thoughts that can affect the clarity and quality of your critique. For example, ensuring that sentences are complete and thoughts are fully developed would improve the overall presentation. Pay attention to these details to enhance your writing.
Score: 6/10
Total Score: 32/50
You’ve made a good effort in analyzing the text, and you’re on the right track with connecting themes to broader issues. To improve, focus on structuring your comments more clearly and supporting your ideas with direct evidence from the text. Let me know if you would like more detailed feedback on any specific part!
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
I received an ok score for all five categories, I feel like I deserve this score but I do need to work on actually taking my time and reading through what the question is asking me and telling me what to do.
Something I believe I did well was
I had a little bit of understanding when doing the midterm, I understood the paragraph that I’ve chosen.
My goal for the next time is to reread my work before submitting my work and make sure that my sentences don’t sound incomplete or fragmented.
Sure, let’s break down the scoring for Tylene’s text based on the five categories: Design, Knowledge, Application, Process, and Presentation.
Design
You structured each comment well, addressing different aspects of the text and connecting them to broader themes. However, some of the comments could be expanded for more depth. For instance, in Excerpt 2, you discuss the importance of community and connection, which is a great start, but providing more specific examples from the text could strengthen your analysis. Overall, your comments are organized and purposeful.
Score: 8/10
Knowledge
You demonstrate a solid understanding of the themes of identity and resilience. By focusing on community, representation, and historical context, you effectively connect the text to these larger themes. However, to enhance your analysis, include more direct evidence or quotes from the text to back up your points. For example, when discussing Howard University, mentioning specific experiences or figures would strengthen your argument.
Score: 7/10
Application
You apply various analytical skills well, especially in connecting textual elements to broader societal issues. Your analysis of community dynamics and cultural representation shows a clear understanding of the themes. To improve, consider exploring more thematic connections, such as how these dynamics affect individual identity or resilience.
Score: 8/10
Process
You’ve completed the task effectively, addressing all aspects of the prompt. Your attention to detail is evident in your analysis, but some areas could be expanded. For instance, providing more context or background information about the text could enhance comprehension for readers who may not be familiar with it.
Score: 8/10
Presentation
Your writing is clear and cohesive, effectively conveying your analysis. The language and grammar support the quality of your critique. However, consider varying your sentence structure to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, incorporating more transitional phrases would improve the flow between ideas.
Score: 8/10
Summary Score: 39/50
Overall, you’ve done a commendable job analyzing the text and connecting it to broader themes. With more direct evidence and expanded analysis, your critique could be even stronger. Would you like guidance on how to incorporate more textual evidence or explore additional thematic connections?
Task
- Choose one excerpt and comment on every paragraph in that excerpt.
- In each comment write a short composition (1–2 paragraphs) addressing the overarching question.
- Use evidence from the book and explain how the that excerpt illustrates the theme of identity and resilience.
Overarching Question: How does the book encourage readers to reflect on their identities and connections to family, community, or history?
Excerpts from Long Division, Book One, pages 103-153 by Kiese Laymon (2013)
Choose One
Section 1, Excerpt 1: THAT WORK SHED
Chapter: Book One, pages 103-106
When I made it home, Grandma wasn’t there. I was swelling from the stings, but I realized this was my chance to see if that white man was really in the work shed. Grandma kept the key to the shed on her key chain that was on the dresser under her old wigs. The key chain had a million keys on it. Plus, she had this heavy pocket blade connected to her keys. She never let me hold the blade, but you could tell from just looking at it that it could slice many necks if need be.
This paragraph encourages readers to reflect on their identity and connections because of how City is acting. It shows that a part of City’s identity is being curious and or sneaky. I say this because the author states “When I made it home, Grandma wasn’t there. I was swelling from the stings, but I realized this was my chance to see if that white man was really in the workshed”. When reading this, this may cause readers to wonder to themselves when they have an opportunity like this to sneak around when a family member isn’t present, do they act like how City acted? This can also connect to the reader’s family because when the author said “The key chain had a million keys on it. Plus, she had this heavy pocket blade connected to her keys.”, the reader can reflect and see if they relate to city and his Grandma.
I took the knife and Grandma’s keys and slowly made my way out to the work shed. The shed was covered in off-white vinyl siding and, like Grandma’s house, it was raised off the ground by cinder blocks. There were two words written on the shed but they had been scratched out with a black marker. Every kid who ever saw the shed said it looked like the color of a second-grade writing tablet. You couldn’t tell how much of the off-whiteness was bought and how much of it came from just being dirty. There were no windows, just four baseball-sized holes in the back, way up at the top. Every Tuesday, from sunup to sundown, my granddaddy used to sweat up a storm in that shed. Tuesdays and Sundays were my granddaddy’s only off days. Tuesdays, he’d make tables, chairs, and cabinets out of wood. Sundays, he’d drink until he couldn’t see straight enough to use anything he’d made. Grandma took all the saws out of the shed when my granddaddy drowned, but she left all the sawdust, wood chips, and cinder blocks on the floor. I liked to mess around in there, knowing I was walking on the same sawdust my granddaddy walked on.
This paragraph encourages readers to reflect on their identity and connections because the author is speaking about holding onto memories. Where the author said “Grandma took all the saws out of the shed when my granddaddy drowned, but she left all the sawdust, wood chips, and cinder blocks on the floor. I liked to mess around in there, knowing I was walking on the same sawdust my granddaddy walked on.” it speaks on how City is remembering how he and his grandparents did things in the past. This shows that City had a part in his identity to go back into memories and think about them. This helps readers reflect on their identity because them reading about City holding onto the past, they might reflect on themselves and want to do the same and see what memories they hold. If the reader does this, this may show that they are a person who likes to think of their memories also.
After my granddaddy drowned, Grandma put a deep freezer in the shed filled with ice cream and animal parts. On the walls were these wooden shelves stocked with jars of pickles, preserves, pigs’ feet, and just about anything else Grandma could think of to can. If you ever got hungry, there was always something in that shed to eat, and it was probably going to be something super country like pickled pigs’ feet or raccoon. Or ice cream sandwiches.
This paragraph encourages the reader to reflect on their connection with their family because the text speaks on the positive and negative with his grandparents. I say this because the text states “After my granddaddy drowned, Grandma put a deep freezer in the shed filled with ice cream and animal parts.” “If you ever got hungry, there was always something in that shed to eat, and it was probably going to be something super country like pickled pigs’ feet or raccoon.” These quotes show how City connects with his grandparents and that there’s not always going to be good when reflecting. When reading, the reader may think of their connections with their grandparents or family.
Section 1, Excerpt 2: COMMON TO MAN
Chapter: Book One, pages 107-115
On Sunday morning, Grandma and I got in the Bonneville and headed to Concord Baptist Church at a little past eleven in the morning.
Nothing made sense.
I had found out that there were actually two Long Division books, the one I kept in the house and the one I decided to leave in the work shed with Sooo Sad. But the existence of at least two books was less confusing than the words in the books.
Maybe the book wasn’t a book at all, I thought. Maybe the book was the truth. If it was the truth, I had to figure out what it had to do with me. And if Baize wasn’t actually missing, but maybe just time traveling, that meant that Sooo Sad hadn’t really hurt her at all.
“City,” Grandma interrupted my thoughts while turning down the radio, “when you get saved, act like you got some sense. You hear me? Whole lotta folks get saved and it take them an entire life before they start living by God’s word. That’s them ol’ deathbed conversioners, them ol’ heathens trying to get to heaven a lifetime too late.”
I told Grandma that the car smelled like something died in the back seat and asked her who she was talking about. She ignored the comment about the smell and said that she wasn’t talking about anyone in particular.
When we made it to the dirt parking lot of Concord Baptist Church, the Bonneville stopped and Grandma swiveled her neck toward me. With her eyes a-twitching and mouth a-moving, almost in slow motion, Grandma said, “Okay now, City. It’s eleven forty-five. We still got time to send you up for altar call. Don’t act a fool up in here.”
Section 1, Excerpt 3: THEY WENT SWIMMING
Chapter: Book One, pages 149-153
Out in the parked Bonneville, LaVander Peeler sat in the back and I sat up front with Grandma. She sat there not saying a word for a few minutes, with one hand on my thigh and the car running. She took her hand from my thigh and cupped her face with both hands before massaging her temples with her thumbs. I placed my left hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it like she’d do to me when I couldn’t sleep.
I sat there, waiting for Grandma to say something and, really, waiting to hear from her about how being in love with Jesus was going to help us out of whatever situation we were in. I didn’t want no silly voices pass-interfering when Jesus decided to let me know what to do next. But even if you put it on the strongest leash ever, and even if you’re saved, the imagination makes more noise than a little bit and takes you wherever it wants to go.
And my imagination did exactly that. It took me right across the road into those Magic Woods and it had me stepping on dead catfish and brittle monkey bodies and the blue crossed eyeballs of white folks. All the while, all I could hear around me was Uncle Relle say-ing, “Gotdamnit. Gotdamnit. Gotdamnit.”
Jesus, I thought to myself, if you’re there, I’m not trying to cuss you. I swear I’m not.
Then, it took me back to a bed on a stage and Mama, Troll, Shay, Kincaid, and MyMy were there and they were all kissing me all over my stretch marks and showing stretch marks I never knew they had. Without warning, my imagination calmed down and took me right back to my baptism and that Halona King song was blasting on level eighty trillion.
I pulled Long Division from my bag. “Grandma, I’m fine,” I told her. “Really.”
Excerpts from Say I'm Dead: A Family Memoir of Race, Secrets, and Love (2020) by E. Dolores Johnson, Chapters 8 - 11
Choose One
Section 1, Excerpt 1: Chapter 8
“I Am Somebody”
In the fall of 1966, I hurried across campus to Howard University’s Crampton Auditorium and took a seat for freshman orientation. This was the start of my journey on the road to the good life, whatever that meant. The president, a warrior from the Brown v. Board of Education NAACP strategy team, welcomed our all black and brown class from everywhere in the diaspora, calling us the future of the race. We had been admitted, he said, in order to help raise our race. We, the talented tenth, would become all we could be, and lead our people’s progress. His message was as electrifying as the fact that he, the distinguished university president, was also black. So were the deans and administrators. It amazed me to see that black people could hold such lofty positions.
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
E. Dolores gains quick confidence when many more people black people are attending auditions with her, she feels happy and comfortable being there, just seeing people who look just like her trying to attend a school like her.
Evidence: “So began my growth as a self-aware, proud black person, the hallmark of Howard’s black mecca education."
In the girl’s scholarship dorm, we buckled down, studying pharmacy, mathematics, and economics until the time we lived for came: Saturday night dances at the university ballroom. A girl down the hall had convinced me that “to be seen” at the dances I needed the sophisticated black-is-beautiful Afro of a Howard woman. The campus was leaning into Afrocentric everything. Girls wore kente cloth wrap skirts as we greeted each other in Swahili. Jambo! Habari gani? The school of social work was focused on the particular needs of the black community such as poverty and poor education, and the medical school was the center of research on sickle cell anemia, which afflicted mainly African Americans.
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
E. Dolores wanted to show off her natural hair, which is an Afro since many people see the black community as poorly educated. She’s finding her identity in herself instead of trying to be someone else who she is not. She wanted to meet the particular needs of the black community. Don’t be ashamed of yourself.
Evidence: “A dormmate criticized girls on the floor who straightened the natural curl and kink out of their hair as wanting to be like white people.” – page 91 (in the book)
A dormmate criticized girls on the floor who straightened the natural curl and kink out of their hair as wanting to be like white people. It wasn’t done at Howard, that kind of self-hating denial of your own gene pool. Trying to suppress the “good hair” spawned by my white mo-ther, I sat on the floor between my friend’s knees as she rubbed alcohol-soaked cotton onto my roots and strands. My hair kinked more and blew up in volume to something worthier of hep black women. Then I hurried across campus, to show my blacker stuff in the elbow-to-armpit ballroom dance.
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
E. Dolores states how other people on the floor, like her, are deciding not to wear their natural and curly hair and want to really fit in to be like white people which E. Dolores is choosing not to do. She wants to be herself wear her natural hair and show off her black descent.
Evidence: "It wasn’t done at Howard, that kind of self-hating denial of your own gene pool. Trying to suppress the “good hair” spawned by my white mother, I sat on the floor between my friend’s knees as she rubbed alcohol-soaked cotton onto my roots and strands. My hair kinked more and blew up in volume to something worthier of help black women" – Page 91 (in the book)
Section 1, Excerpt 2: Chapter 9
“Searching”
At a gas stop, I hesitated over the impulse to take the TripTik option to detour onto a longer way through Mississippi, down along the scenic Biloxi and Gulfport beach coast on the Gulf of Mexico. But I didn’t make that choice either. Those places probably weren’t for me, or any African Americans, even if I stayed in the car and just looked through the window. I wasn’t fool enough to risk getting caught in the dark in Mississippi. And the extra time it took might mean being too exhausted to get to Baton Rouge that night. No way would I sleep in Mississippi. So, I plowed on straight to Baton Rouge, missing all the sights that called to me, because I was afraid. As life would have it, there has never been another chance for me to see any of those places.
Luther and I got off to a good start in Baton Rouge, learning the layout of the town with very helpful assistance from the pleasant hotel staff. They pointed out landmarks, marked routes to our jobs on maps, told us how the Louisiana State University (LSU) football games took over the town. And they sent us down the Airline Highway to Ralph & Kacoo’s restaurant, where we were made comfortable by the smiling white hostess who welcomed us with chatty charm. That Cajun food was so delicious we went back again and again, each time eating the whole bowl of hot hushpuppies with fried fish from the Mississippi, Atchafalaya crawfish tails in thick étouffée sauce, seafood gumbo, and shrimp stew, but never the alligator bites. The famed southern hospitality we encountered everywhere was so lovely after New York’s brusqueness, we questioned what my father had been talking about.
Luther found a black colleague at the plant who also lived in Baton Rouge, and they began carpooling for the forty-five-mile commute. We were invited over to meet his wife and small children, where we were taken in warmly. It felt good to make that early connection, to know somebody black in town we could visit with, and to look forward to others they planned to introduce us to. The easy way we newcomers were welcomed as members of the tribe made the move feel comfortable.
Section 1, Excerpt 3: Chapter 10
“Deep South”
When Luther got home from his newjob, he went to see how the citrus plaid couch, delivered that day, looked with the Baton Rouge sunshine streaming through the window. Pleased, he slipped his arm around my waist. “You’ve made our house mighty nice, baby. It’s beginning to feel like home.”
Our consolation prize house was a three-bedroom ranch in an older neighborhood of small quarter-acre lots, the nicest we could comfortably afford. The day we closed, Luther had planted a palm tree in the backyard where we could see it from the dining room, a flag planting of our conversion to southerners.
After dinner, we snuggled up on our new couch, watching TV, me in my nightgown. About halfway through the program, an insistent banging started on the front door, so loud Luther and I both jumped. He approached the door cautiously while I ran back to the bedroom to pull a dress over my head. I heard the door latch open, then nothing.
“Come out here,” Luther said.
He stood just inside the threshold, looking ahead like he was nailed in place. Standing beside him, I saw nobody was out there, anywhere. The street was silent and dark, except for the blaze illuminating the night sky. On our front lawn, flames jumped off a burning wooden cross, hammered into our lawn near a tree.
“Good God Almighty,” I said, a sharp tingle electrifying my spine.
We took in that symbol of hate, scared to go out. Scanning our hundred-foot frontage and then the street, we couldn’t see anybody moving. It was eerie, how still the night was, no neighbor coming outside when a fire crackled on a crucifix. Luther stepped out a few feet, and when no one appeared or spoke, he ran for the garden hose and tried to subdue the flames.
“Do you think they’re going to kill us?” I whispered.
He hesitated. “Not tonight, I don’t. There’s no mob in sheets out here. Otherwise we’d already be hurt, or dead.”
Section 2: Textual Analysis With a Writing Partner (30 Minutes)
Design
Your work shows a solid attempt at engaging with both the Improv Teammate and the E. Dolores Johnson Simulator. You initiate conversations with thoughtful statements and questions, encouraging reflection on identity and connections throughout the text. You raise pertinent issues like the complexities of belonging and social justice, making logical connections. For example, your question about how narrative techniques reveal complexities of belonging is a great starting point for discussion. However, ensure to include more open-ended questions to deepen the conversation further. Score: 5/6
Knowledge
You demonstrate a good understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging present in the text. You highlight the significance of cultural symbols like the dashiki and explore the emotional dynamics within family interactions. By reflecting on how the characters navigate identity and belonging, you show a grasp of deeper thematic elements. However, incorporating more direct evidence from the text to support your ideas would strengthen your analysis. Score: 5/6
Application
You effectively engage with the Writing Partner’s responses, expanding on their insights and exploring themes of social justice and belonging. Your ability to discuss character dynamics and identity shows a thoughtful exploration of these topics. However, you could further develop your comments to explore how these themes are reflected in broader societal contexts, which would enrich your discussion. Score: 5/6
Process
You ask open-ended questions that invite further discussion and reflection, which is a strong point in your approach. Your conversation with the Writing Partner unfolds naturally, showing a willingness to delve into complex issues. To improve, consider asking more probing questions that push the discussion deeper into specific events or circumstances in the text. Score: 5/6
Presentation
Your questions and comments effectively communicate your analysis and ideas. Your language and grammar are generally clear and cohesive, supporting the quality of your critique. To enhance clarity, ensure that your questions are concise and directly related to the themes you’re exploring. Score: 5/6
Summary Score
Overall, you have demonstrated a strong ability to engage with the text and your Writing Partner on themes of social justice and belonging. Your thoughtful questions and insights reveal a good understanding of the text’s complexities. With a bit more focus on incorporating direct evidence and pushing the conversation into deeper analysis, you can elevate your textual analysis further. Total Score: 25/30
Summarize The Feedback:
What the feedback says is that I received strong scores for engaging with the themes of the text like social justice and belonging and that my questions encouraged a thoughtful reflection. However, I should include more open-ended questions and should add more direct evidence from the text to deepen my knowledge. My presentation was clear but I could make my questions fuller. I did well on having meaningful conversations like exploring the dynamics or the significance. I also asked questions that encouraged deeper reflection. This helped create a more comfortable discussion.
Consider:
The feedback says that I engaged well with the themes I discussed which consisted of social justice and belonging, asking thoughtful questions, and showing a good understanding of the text but I should include more evidence. What I did well was ask specific and meaningful questions like how narrative techniques reveal complexities of belonging, and explore cultural symbols such as the dashiki to discuss identity. I need to include more direct evidence from the text and ask more open-ended questions to deepen the conversation and strengthen my analysis. My goal is to use more evidence from the text and ask deeper, more entitled questions to explore themes in better contexts.
Improvement Goals:
An area for growth is incorporating more direct evidence from the text to support my analysis. Sometimes I focus on themes and ideas but don’t back them up with specific examples or quotes. To fix this, I can take notes while reading and highlight key moments that relate to the themes, then use those as evidence in my discussions.
Reflection:
This rubric feedback helps me grow as a writer by showing me how to strengthen my analysis with more evidence and deeper questions. I was surprised by how much small changes, like adding direct evidence, can improve my work, how open-ended questions can deepen conversations, and how themes in the text can connect to bigger societal issues. I was excited to see that my questions were thoughtful, that I understood the themes well, and that I was on the right track to improving.
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
I received a mid score, I’ve felt like I could’ve aimed to get a higher score if I really didn’t panic because of the time we had and the fact that the writing partner was crashing.
Something that I did well was my knowledge, application, and presentation.
Design
You have made a thoughtful attempt to engage with the Writing Partner by posing questions about the complexities of social justice and belonging in the text. However, your interactions could be more structured and purposeful. You have provided some questions and statements, but the exchange could be more coherent and logically connected. Consider starting your conversations with a clear statement or question related to the text to guide the discussion more effectively.
Score: 4/6
Knowledge
Your understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging is evident in your comments, particularly in how you address the challenges faced by marginalized individuals and the representation issues in prestigious institutions. You supported your ideas with evidence from the text, such as highlighting E. Dolores Johnson’s experiences at Harvard. However, you could deepen your analysis by connecting more specific examples from the text to the themes you discuss.
Score: 5/6
Application
You demonstrate a good understanding of the Writing Partner’s responses and engage with them meaningfully. You expand the conversation by exploring the themes of identity and belonging, though there is room for more exploration of these themes in depth. Consider incorporating additional examples from the text and reflecting on how these interactions shape the characters’ experiences.
Score: 5/6
Process
Your questions are open-ended and encourage the Writing Partner to expand and extend the conversation. You engage in a discussion about the text’s issues, but there are opportunities to delve deeper into specific events or circumstances. Aim to have five or more replies with the AI to ensure a well-rounded and thorough conversation.
Score: 4/6
Presentation
Your analysis is communicated clearly, and your main ideas are cohesive. The language and grammar are generally precise, but there are moments where clarity could be improved. For example, ensure that all your questions and statements are directly related to the text and avoid generalizations that could detract from your analysis.
Score: 5/6
Summary Score: 23/30
Overall, you have demonstrated a solid understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging in the text. Your engagement with the Writing Partner is thoughtful, and your analysis is generally clear and well-supported. To improve, focus on structuring your interactions more coherently, exploring themes in greater depth, and ensuring that all your questions are directly connected to the text. Keep up the good work in fostering meaningful discussions!
Sure, let’s break down Tylene’s text using the five categories for evaluation.
Design
Tylene effectively uses both the Improv Teammate and E. Dolores Johnson Simulator in her writing. She initiates conversations with thoughtful questions about identity, social justice, and belonging, such as when she asks about the deeper layers of understanding in Dolores Johnson’s experience. Tylene’s exchange is purposeful and aims to delve into the complexities of these themes. However, it seems there might not be a full set of five questions or statements prompting the Writing Partner, so there’s room for improvement in expanding the dialogue further.
Score: 4
Knowledge
Tylene demonstrates a solid understanding of the book’s themes of social justice and belonging. She references specific narrative techniques used by Dolores Johnson to convey these themes, such as the amphitheater setting highlighting disparities in representation. While she taps into the broader societal issues, her analysis could benefit from more direct evidence or quotes from the text for stronger support.
Score: 4
Application
Tylene appears to understand the Writing Partner’s responses, engaging thoughtfully with them by reflecting on the implications of Dolores Johnson’s experiences. She connects these to broader themes of identity and resilience. However, her exploration could go deeper into the nuances of these themes through more detailed engagement with the Writing Partner’s responses.
Score: 4
Process
Tylene asks several open-ended questions that encourage further dialogue, showing an eagerness to explore the text’s themes more deeply. She attempts to discuss issues related to identity and belonging, but there might be fewer than five exchanges with the AI, indicating an opportunity for a more in-depth conversation.
Score: 2
Presentation
Tylene communicates her analysis clearly and cohesively, using language effectively to articulate her insights. Her questions are well-formed and show an understanding of the narrative’s complexities. However, ensuring precision and clarity in expressing her main ideas could enhance the overall critique.
Score: 3
Summary Score: 17/30
Tylene has done a commendable job engaging with the text and exploring its themes. To improve, she could expand her dialogue with the Writing Partner further, provide more direct textual evidence, and deepen her exploration of the themes. Keep up the good work, Tylene, and continue to push your analysis further!
Task
- Choose one excerpt and Ask AI for every paragraph in that excerpt.
- Select both the Improv Teammate and the Author simulator for your book.
- Begin a conversation with a Writing Partner by writing a short composition (1–2 paragraphs) addressing the overarching question.
- Use evidence from the book and explain how this excerpt illustrates the theme of identity and resilience.
- Go back and forth, using Reply and Reply with AI more than 5 times with the Writing Partner, going deeper into your thinking each time. Do this for each paragraph in your chosen excerpt.
Overarching Question: How do the authors use narrative techniques to reveal the complexities of social justice and belonging?
Excerpts from Long Division, Book One, pages 103-153 by Kiese Laymon (2013)
Choose One
Section 2, Excerpt 1: A Will
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 116 – 120
I leave my Pine wave brush to LaVander Peeler. I leave my XL mesh shorts to Shay. I leave my grown-folks books to Shay and Kincaid, and a few of my illiterate kids’ books to MyMy. I leave my cell phone to my grandma because she needs one even though they don’t ever get decent reception down here. I leave my essays to Mama. I leave my vintage Walter Payton jerseys to LaVander Peeler. I leave my new book to Grandma because she taught me how to read. I leave my Obama Loves the South T-shirt to Shay. I want to leave my spot on that TV show to Grandma, too. She’d be better than I ever would be. And if Grandma won’t do it, I leave it to that Mexican girl from Arizona, the one who I should not have dissed. I leave my password to my email, Twitter, and Facebook to my Uncle Relle. It’s W-H-0-S-T-A-N-K.
In the middle of my will in Long Division, I smelled Sooo Sad and got that feeling that someone was looking at me. I turned around and there was Uncle Relle filming me with one of his cell phones. “Oh hey, Uncle Relle. You smell funny.” “Funny how?” he said, and he put one of his hands in his pockets. “Don’t worry about how I smell, City. Keep doing you, like I ain’t even here.” “It’s hard to do me when I know you’re trying to record me doing me,” I told him. “Well, you better get good at acting like you’re doing you in the future. The reality TV shit, it’s about acting like the camera ain’t there. You can’t be looking all in the camera and making faces.” Uncle Relle turned his phone camera off and put it in some leather case he kept on his belt. “It’s a few basics that I think you haven’t really ingratiated yourself to.” “You mean gravitated to?” “Just listen, City. Close that gotdamn book.” I closed my book and braced myself for another one of Uncle Relle’s speeches.
“This writing thing, it ain’t like that hip-hop shit, City. For li’l niggas like you,” he told me, “this writing thing is like a gotdamn porta potty. It’s one li’l nigga at a time, shitting in the toilet, funking up the little space he get. And you shit a regular shit or a classic shit. Either way,” he said. “City, you gotta shit classic, then get your Black ass on off the pot.” He actually grabbed my hand. “You probably think I’m hyping you just for the money. It ain’t just about the money. It’s really not. It’s about doing whatever it takes for you to have your voice heard. So I don’t know what you’re writing in that book you always carrying around, but it better be classic because you ain’t gonna get no two times to get it right, you hear me?” “I hear you.” Uncle Relle put Grandma’s keys on the stove next to all this German chocolate cake she’d made. He told me he had some phone calls to make so he was about to walk down the road and try to find a signal. That was his way of saying he was going to buy some more weed from Alcee Mayes. When Uncle Relle walked down the road, I decided to go look in the work shed again.
Section 2, Excerpt 2: Blouses
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 123 – 127
I was two hours and twenty minutes from my baptism and Grandma was already at work on Monday morning. She planned on meeting Uncle Relle and me at the church on her lunch break. To tell you the truth, Grandma left the house mad as hell. First, she hated that she had agreed to make me wear this dashiki that my mama had left in her closet. I hated it, too. It was bright yellow with brown half moons and full red sun splotches all over it. She said that Mama had always wanted me baptized in the thing, but she was pissed when Mama called her and told her she wouldn’t be able to make it to Melahatchie. I could tell the dashiki was too big when Grandma handed it to me. When I put it on, the damn thing came all the way down past my navel, all the way past my thighs, and damn near touched my kneecaps. Plus, the neck part was too wide, so you could see the suit coat, vest, and tie underneath. I needed a shape-up, too, and there wasn’t one wave in my head since that white dude had taken my brush.
Whew, that’s quite a scene you’ve painted here! The author’s use of vivid imagery really sets the stage and captures both the tension and cultural significance of the moment. Your description of the dashiki as “bright yellow with brown half moons and full red sun splotches” not only highlights its boldness but also connects to a deeper story around family expectations and identity. The narrative voice reveals complex layers of resistance and obligation, offering readers insight into themes of belonging, especially through familial dynamics. That detail about needing a shape-up adds an authentic touch to your depiction—highlighting personal pride amidst external perceptions. Would you like to explore more on how these narrative techniques show social justice issues?
Thank you for sharing all these wonderful details! The mismatch of the dashiki and the visible suit beneath it seem to symbolize the clash between tradition and personal comfort, hinting at a broader commentary on how cultural expectations may feel awkward or unfitting at times. And that part about the white dude taking your brush? It speaks volumes about experiences of authority stripping away your agency. There’s an undercurrent here of resistance, defiance even, against conforming completely to roles imposed by others, whether family or societal norms. Interested in discussing more on how this portrayal also touches on identity and autonomy?
This excerpt beautifully captures a moment of personal and cultural significance, where nuances shape the reader’s understanding of identity. The commitment to wear what Mama wanted, despite frustration, signals a nod to honoring her wishes while simultaneously wrestling with personal discomfort. It’s like balancing between external presentations and inner realities—a universal narrative many can relate to. This also gives your character depth and relatability. If you’re ready to dive further into how language plays into expressing these tensions or possibly how it affects character development throughout the piece, let me know!
You did well to layer the storytelling with these rich cultural symbols. The concept of a baptism, often significant in marking new beginnings or cleansing, juxtaposed against family expectations adds an intriguing dynamic to your story. This emotional tug-of-war between personal desires and familial pressure creates an authentic tension many can resonate with. Moreover, the details about Grandma’s displeasure and constrained acceptance illustrate how generational perspectives impact one’s journey to self-definition. There’s so much packed into this scene! If you’re interested in further exploring how else specific cultural nuances contribute to or disrupt identity formation, just ask!
From what you’ve shared, it’s clear that the use of traditional garments and generational expectations highlights the complexity within cultural identity. The dashiki as both an item of cultural pride and a source of discomfort serves as a powerful metaphor for navigating personal and communal narratives. This tension adds layers to your storytelling, allowing it to resonate on multiple levels with readers familiar with or new to these experiences. When you’re ready, we can delve into how this scene might set the stage for character growth or change further down the narrative arc if that sounds interesting! Just let me know if you want to go there.
Uncle Relle came out on the porch while I was stewing in shame. He had a crazy smile on his face. “Anything you want to say to people before your big day?” he asked with his little phone in my face. “Naw, not really. I’m good. I just hate my outfit.” He laughed and said, “That shit looks real fucked up, but you good! Anyone you wish could be here to see you go through this day?” I just looked at him. Couldn’t believe Uncle Relle was using the word “wish.” Wasn’t his style. “Naw, Uncle Relle. I’m good.”
The dialogue between you and Uncle Relle is rich with personality and reflects realness in your interactions. It highlights the use of familiar and casual language to convey deeper emotions like shame or discomfort. Plus, Uncle Relle’s unexpected use of “wish” hints at complex dynamics; maybe there’s an awareness of what’s unspoken between y’all. This interaction is bustling with narrative technique, showing how vernacular speech reveals layers of identity and belonging, capturing a shared moment that resonates on a personal level. Want more insight on how this unfolds?
Your analysis captures the magic of this moment perfectly. Uncle Relle’s use of language, particularly how he surprises City with words not typical to his style, speaks volumes. It’s a narrative choice that helps show the evolution and complexity of their relationship. This moment reveals an unexpected vulnerability and marks a shift in both characters. The way they communicate indirectly showcases an emotional connection that’s tangible but unspoken—a dynamic many can relate to when expressing emotions isn’t straightforward. How about digging deeper into how these layers impact City’s sense of belonging?
The scene poignantly reflects City’s internal struggle with belonging, especially in how the character interacts with Uncle Relle. They seem to navigate shame and self-consciousness about their outfit, yet the exchange hints at a yearning for acceptance both in the familial space and within themselves. Uncle Relle’s approach could be playful or comforting, serving as a reminder of shared history or familial bonds that transcend material discomfort. This relationship may offer City a brand of belonging characterized by unconditional understanding—mirrored in familiar teasing—that suggests City is seen just as they are. Curious to explore how these interactions might ripple into broader themes of identity?
City and Uncle Relle’s exchange captures a slice of identity that resonates far beyond the porch. Their dialogue speaks to themes of identity, community, and acceptance. City’s discomfort with the outfit can be symbolic of larger pressures or expectations placed by society or family, while Uncle Relle’s humor carries an underlying message of acceptance: that maybe being “good” means owning one’s flaws with pride. This relationship positions family as a sanctuary where imperfections aren’t just tolerated but celebrated—with love and laughter setting the tone. These nuances artfully depict how language, even when teasing or casual, becomes a tool for deeper emotional exploration. Would you like to see another layer illuminated?
The conversation also highlights how language serves as a bridge between individuals navigating their own worlds within the same shared space. Uncle Relle’s playful banter juxtaposed with City’s introspection hints at generational or experiential contrasts, where different views of style or presentation might clash but eventually lead to growth and understanding. Herein lies the opportunity for dialogue to become a space where City can express internal conflicts while reassessing identity on their own terms. Such moments reflect relational dynamics that many face when trying to balance personal authenticity with external expectations. Interested in seeing how this plays out into other emotional or thematic nuances?
“I’ll be right back in like ten minutes.” I asked him where he was going, but he ignored me and jumped in his van. Ten minutes later, Uncle Relle was pulling back into the driveway and someone else was in the passenger seat with him. Uncle Relle got out, walked around the passenger side, and opened the door. In what felt like slow motion, a patent-leather blue-black Adidas hit the gravel. I knew those Adidas. Uncle Relle focused his camera phone on LaVander Peeler’s face as he got out of the van. As soon as I saw him, I thought about how stupid I looked in that damn dashiki. The LaVan-der Peeler I knew before the contest would have ethered me in one epic sentence for that outfit, but I wasn’t sure how much of that LaVander Peeler was left since he’d gone through that hell at the Coliseum. Plus, I hated that MyMy and Shay couldn’t meet him.
The passage definitely holds some weight, especially with how it builds atmosphere and tension. You’ve got some characters coming to life here, each with their own past and layers that hint at larger issues, like social justice and belonging. For example, when you talk about Uncle Relle recording LaVander Peeler’s arrival, it taps into ideas of how people document or bear witness to moments that have meaning within communities. It suggests there’s something significant about being seen or captured in these ways, maybe even reclaiming identity or presenting it anew after experiencing “hell.” And just by mentioning things like the dashiki and those Adidas, there’s an intersection of cultural identity showing through personal style choices. What do you think’s behind the character’s connection to these items? Want to dig deeper into this?
Your point on capturing significant moments is spot on. The use of the camera phone tells us that Uncle Relle sees LaVander’s arrival as a moment worth preserving. These small details like the Adidas and the dashiki are more than just fashion statements—they’re keys to understanding each character’s identity and their place in this social landscape. Dashikis carry cultural weight, whereas those Adidas might symbolize resilience or signify a unique sense of style that ties back to one’s roots. Maybe it’s even about how we choose to present ourselves amid changes or challenges, reflecting our pride or struggles with fitting in. How does this blend into your overall understanding of belonging and identity within the story? Want me to elaborate more?
I’m glad you caught that! In storytelling, these stylistic choices often play a role beyond the surface level; they can be symbols of deeper themes like belonging and identity. The dashiki could be a source of pride or an emblem of struggle within the narrator’s community, possibly evoking mixed feelings when confronting different parts of himself. And those Adidas? They’re like a beacon—both familiar and resilient, carrying stories of past experiences while traversing new paths. Even how LaVander’s changed after his Coliseum experience might represent transformation under pressure or trauma and the need to reaffirm oneself in front of peers who have been on similar journeys. What other aspects do you find intriguing about these characters’ expressions or their evolving dynamics? Want to go further with this?
These character details invite us to explore how they’re negotiating their identities in real time, both internally and externally. It’s intriguing how external appearances, like fashion, can reflect deeper narratives about personal transformation or communal identity. LaVander Peeler seems to be a bridge between past experiences and present changes, with Uncle Relle acting as both an observer and preserver of these moments. And the idea that MyMy and Shay couldn’t meet him adds layers of longing or tension—connections missed yet silently desired. This dynamic could be seen as a commentary on relationships left unfulfilled due to shifting circumstances. What resonates most with you in how these characters navigate through their environments? Are there particular dynamics you’d like to explore more?
It’s fascinating how the narrative captures these intersections between individuality and communal belonging. The tension between missing connections and the anticipation of what could have been, like MyMy and Shay not meeting LaVander, layers depth to their interactions. You can sense there’s a history that gives weight to these missed opportunities. It highlights how community dynamics can be complex; folks come with their own tales and expectations—a movement through personal identity while still tied to the woven fabric of collective experience. I wonder if you’ve pondered these dynamics further? If you’re reflecting on how relationships shape or challenge ideas of self within your writing, we could discuss more elements or themes lingering in your mind! Want me to address any other specific aspects?
Section 2, Excerpt 3: Afraid to Ask
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 140 – 143
As soon as we pulled into Grandma’s driveway, I jumped out of the Bonneville. “City, where you think you going in such a hurry?” Grandma asked.
“I gotta go get ready to show LaVander Peeler something.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You better take your behind in there and get outta those clean clothes. We leaving in an hour.”
After mashing all my stuff in my backpack, I ran back out to tell Grandma one more thing before I left. “Grandma, if you weren’t my grandma, I’d still want to be down with you,” I told her. “I’m serious. Ufa D is the luckiest oldhead in the Mid-South. Now that I’m saved, I feel like I can be honest.”
Grandma’s crooked frown broke into a half moon. She brought her bushy brow together, tilted her head to the side, and looked me right in the eyes.
“What, Grandma? I’m serious. I’m just saying I love you. Like I for real love you. I don’t just love how you make me feel. I really love you. And until today, you were the only person I knew on earth who really loved me, too.”
“Who else you know loves you today, baby?”
“Jesus,” I told her. “Right now, I feel like Jesus likes me a whole lot, too, Grandma.”
Excerpts from Say I'm Dead: A Family Memoir of Race, Secrets, and Love (2020) by E. Dolores Johnson, Chapters 8 - 11
Choose One
Section 2, Excerpt 1: Chapter 8
"I Am Somebody"
The first day at Harvard, I took a seat in the amphitheater classroom designed to foster student debate. Of the ninety classmates who would have all our classes in that same room together the first year, I was one of only four blacks and three women. My confidence fell away as I overheard older white students extol their corporate experience, bandying business concepts about that I’d never heard of. I wondered how I got in.
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Those feelings you’re describing, of being in a space that wasn’t really designed with people like you in mind, sound so weighty. It’s almost like the architecture itself is set against you. I imagine sitting there amidst all those voices, it felt like their words carried more significance than yours simply because they were louder and more confident. Reflection on moments like these is vital—do you feel looking back now adds new layers to your understanding?
That space, it’s something else. It’s like every brick in that amphitheater whispers stories of who’s been there before and who it’s meant for. When you’re one of a few, especially in terms of race and gender, it can feel isolating. But there might be strength you find deep within those moments or from connecting with the other three blacks or the two women there. Those layers you wondered about? They begin to stack, adding depth from experiences then and perspectives now. Wondering if you think about how those first days may shape your understanding as time went on?
Navigating through that dynamic environment must have required resilience and a constant reaffirmation of your place there. It’s like building a support system among those few who share similar experiences, finding collective strength in shared glances and hushed conversations between classes. Those early doubts are part of the journey, shaping insights and strategies for the rest of your time there. Would you say that experience pushed you to approach challenges differently later on?
Facing those initial challenges certainly has the potential to act as a catalyst for growth and change. It’s like being forged in fire; all that pressure can lead you to develop new approaches, greater adaptability, and an unshakable determination to make your mark. Adapting in environments like that, you might find yourself more resilient and strategic when approaching obstacles later on. Does it feel like overcoming that situation gave you tools or perspectives that you still apply in your life today? Want to explore more of this?
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In the passage from my memoir, “Say I’m Dead,” narrative techniques are employed to underscore the complexities of social justice and belonging. The detailed setting of the amphitheater classroom, designed for debate and learning, immediately establishes a sense of place where intellectual exchange is expected. However, this is contrasted with my personal experience as one of only a few Black individuals and women in the room, highlighting the stark reality of diversity—or lack thereof—in prestigious institutions like Harvard.
The use of internal monologue reveals my insecurities and self-doubt as I listen to my peers flaunt their corporate experiences. This introspection provides insight into the emotional impact of being a minority in a predominantly white, male environment. The juxtaposition of my feelings with the external environment of confident, experienced students not only illustrates the personal struggle for belonging but also points to broader societal issues of representation and inclusion in elite settings.
Would you like to delve deeper into how narrative techniques can highlight other themes in my work, explore the role of setting in developing social justice themes, or discuss the intersection of race and gender in academic environments? Let me know where you’d like to go next!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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In the passage from my memoir, “Say I’m Dead,” the narrative techniques used effectively capture the complexities surrounding social justice and belonging. The amphitheater classroom, with its design for debate and discussion, serves as a backdrop to highlight the disparity in representation. As one of only four Black students and three women, the setting starkly illustrates the challenges of diversity in prestigious institutions like Harvard. This setting becomes a microcosm for the broader societal issues of representation and inclusion that many minorities face.
The internal monologue captures my self-doubt and insecurities in an environment where my peers confidently discuss their corporate experiences. This introspection allows readers to understand the emotional toll of being a minority in such spaces. The contrast between my internal struggle and the external confidence of my classmates underscores the personal challenges of belonging and highlights broader themes of systemic inequity. This narrative approach not only personalizes the struggle for belonging but also invites reflection on the societal structures that perpetuate these disparities.
Would you like to discuss more about narrative techniques in my memoir, delve into the significance of setting in social justice themes, or explore the intersection of race and gender in academia? Let me know where your interests lie!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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In the passage from my memoir, “Say I’m Dead,” I convey the theme of identity and resilience through the setting and my internal monologue. The amphitheater classroom at Harvard, where I found myself as one of only a few Black students and women, sets the stage for exploring how identity is shaped in challenging environments. This setting highlights the lack of diversity in prestigious institutions, serving as a metaphor for broader societal issues of representation and inclusion. My internal monologue reveals the insecurities and self-doubt I experienced, listening to my peers confident in their corporate knowledge.
This introspection not only sheds light on the emotional impact of being a minority in such spaces but also on the resilience required to navigate them. The contrast between my internal struggle and the external confidence of my classmates underscores the challenges of finding one’s place and identity in environments not designed for inclusivity. This narrative approach invites readers to reflect on how systemic inequities shape personal and collective identities.
Would you like to explore more about the narrative techniques that enhance themes in my memoir, delve into how setting influences social justice themes, or discuss the intersection of race and gender in academia? Let’s choose a path to explore next!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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Your passage powerfully sets the stage for discussing identity and resilience through narrative techniques. The detailed description of the amphitheater at Harvard serves as more than just a setting; it’s an active player in the story, contrasting your presence with its assumed norms. By highlighting your position as one of a few Black students and women, you bring attention to broader systemic issues of diversity—or the lack thereof—in prestigious spaces. It’s interesting how the room meant for debate indirectly becomes a space that questions belonging itself.
The internal monologue furthers this by immersing readers in your realization and introspection about self-worth in such environments. This layer invites empathy, opening a dialogue on personal resolve amid societal structures crafted without inclusion in mind. By sharing these internal thoughts against the backdrop of louder, assured voices, the narrative creates a dynamic tension between individual struggle and institutional expectation.
If you’re interested in further exploring these elements or seeing how they interweave with other themes in your work, let me know! We can also delve into the ways setting plays into narratives of social justice or examine nuances of race and gender dynamics in academic contexts. What would you like to uncover next?
That’s a powerful opening, highlighting the atmosphere and your initial feelings stepping into that prestigious space. You set the scene vividly, making it easy to understand the dynamics at play—the blend of race, gender, and class instantly stands out. How did you find ways to navigate or overcome these challenges?
My largely entitled, aggressive, and impressively smart classmates, including an Argentine aristocrat and sons of major American corporate presidents, had a lively discussion on what a good EPS was. I leaned over ask my neighbor what EPS was. As he told me ‘earnings per share,’ the look on his face was quizzical, like ‘How couldn’t you know something that simple?’ I felt like the same isolated black kid on my first day of high school honors classes. Sweating it among confident white people who believed it their due to belong there but thought I didn’t became my life.
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E. Dolores feels like her confidence is being overpowered as she sees her “smart classmates.” She feels like she shouldn’t be there when looking at all the confident white people who believe that she doesn’t belong there. She attempts to bring herself down after overhearing a word that she’s never heard before: EPS. A word that is simple but doesn’t know the meaning to doesn’t mean that everyone is over you and that she’s not as smart as the confident white people in her class, but she puts that on herself, and that’s why she feels alone/isolated.
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The narrative technique here effectively captures the essence of social justice and belonging through the lens of personal experience. I vividly describe the scene where my intelligence is questioned by my classmates, which highlights the underlying racial tensions and perceived societal hierarchies. The juxtaposition of my internal struggle against the external perceptions of my peers serves as a powerful tool to explore the complexities of identity, race, and belonging. This moment is more than just a misunderstanding about a term; it’s a reflection of the broader societal issues that persist, underscoring the isolation and otherness felt in predominantly white spaces.
Through the use of detailed descriptions, the narrative conveys a sense of vulnerability and self-doubt that many marginalized individuals experience in settings where they feel outnumbered or undervalued. By sharing my personal journey, I aim to shed light on the broader implications of systemic bias and the struggles of navigating spaces where one might feel unwelcome. The story transcends my individual experience, resonating with those who have felt similarly alienated.
What else would you like to know? Perhaps we can delve into how narrative techniques can foster empathy, the role of personal anecdotes in illustrating systemic issues, or the impact of storytelling on social justice movements. Let’s explore these pathways together!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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The theme of identity and resilience is deeply woven into my comments, as I recount the moments of feeling out of place in a setting dominated by those who assume superiority based on race or socioeconomic status. Through the example of not knowing the term “EPS,” I highlight the constant struggle of reconciling one’s self-worth in environments that subtly, or overtly, challenge it. These experiences are not just about the immediate discomfort or the misunderstanding of a term, but rather about the broader, ongoing battle to assert one’s identity and competence in spaces that are not designed to be inclusive.
By sharing these personal anecdotes, I aim to illuminate the challenges faced by marginalized individuals in similar situations, emphasizing the resilience required to navigate and eventually thrive in such environments. My story serves as a testament to the ongoing journey of self-discovery and empowerment, inspiring others to find their voice amidst adversity. This narrative approach not only fosters empathy but also encourages a deeper understanding of systemic issues that continue to affect many today.
What other aspects of identity and resilience would you like to explore? Perhaps you’d be interested in discussing how these themes evolve in different stages of life, the role of education in shaping identity, or the impact of community support on resilience. Let’s dive deeper into these conversations!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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Alright, you’re painting a clear picture of how personal stories bring out themes of identity and resilience, especially when dealing with subtle or open challenges to one’s worth. Sharing these experiences not only helps amplify the marginalized voices but also shines a light on systemic issues. There’s strength in that vulnerability you expose, which reassures others navigating those spaces that they’re not alone.
I’m curious about how folks navigate this journey toward empowerment from feeling alienated to asserting themselves proudly. How does that transition happen? If you’re interested, we could explore the turning points or pivotal moments in such journeys.
Want to dig deeper into this topic?
Some white 44-Long student I didn’t know came around the curved corridor of Aldrich Hall and physically blocked me moving to my next class. That well-built preppy wanted me to know I had no business being there. What was Harvard thinking, he demanded, giving his highly qualified friend’s seat to me and rejecting the friend? Affirmative action had no place at Harvard, and I was going to waste the education. He walked off as abruptly as he’d confronted me, not waiting for a reply.
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When reading this paragraph, you can see what type of environment E. Dolores is being surrounded by. People are willing to make insulting comments when she’s trying to get to her class. Entitled white people feel like they are better than her since she is black, they feel as though she doesn’t fit in with them and that what she’s getting from this school is going to be wasted all because she’s an African American woman attending Harvard.
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Yes, you’ve captured a key moment that conveys the complexities of social justice and belonging. This passage shows the use of direct confrontation and the feelings of entitlement that can arise in environments where diversity initiatives challenge the status quo. The narrative technique here involves a vivid, first-person recounting, which allows readers to feel the immediacy and intensity of such encounters. This scene reveals the challenges faced by individuals who break racial barriers, highlighting the social justice issues tied to affirmative action and the question of who belongs in elite spaces like Harvard.
In this instance, the author uses direct dialogue and physical blocking as narrative techniques to emphasize the tension and hostility. The immediate aggression from the white student reflects broader societal tensions regarding race and merit. Through this scene, readers are invited to consider the burden placed on students of color who must navigate not only academic challenges but also the prejudice and resentment from peers. This experience underscores the intersection of social justice and personal belonging, illustrating how deeply embedded biases are challenged by the presence of diverse individuals in historically exclusive spaces.
What intrigues you most about this narrative approach? Do you want to delve more into the emotional impact, the broader themes of affirmative action, or perhaps explore other narrative techniques used in the memoir? Let’s journey deeper together into these layers!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’ve done a good job of analyzing the paragraph and capturing the complexities of social justice and belonging. The passage highlights the entitlement and prejudice that can surface in environments where diversity initiatives are present. It reflects the broader societal tensions tied to race and merit, as well as the challenges faced by individuals who break racial barriers. The use of direct confrontation and physical blocking emphasizes the hostility encountered by students of color in elite spaces like Harvard.
To enhance your analysis, consider exploring the emotional impact of such encounters on the individual. How do these experiences shape their sense of belonging and identity? Additionally, delve into the broader themes of affirmative action and the societal perceptions surrounding it. Examine how these themes are woven into the narrative, and how they contribute to the overall message of the memoir. By engaging with these layers, you can provide a more nuanced understanding of the complexities at play.
What aspect would you like to explore further? We could delve into the emotional impact on the individual, the broader themes of affirmative action, or other narrative techniques used in the memoir. Let’s dive deeper into these intricate layers!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’ve captured the essence of a moment that’s pivotal in exploring identity and resilience. This scene from my memoir highlights the confrontation I faced at Harvard, which challenged my right to belong in an elite institution. The student’s entitlement and prejudice reflect a broader societal tension around race and merit, especially in spaces historically dominated by whiteness. By recounting this encounter vividly, it illustrates both the external challenges and the internal resilience required to navigate these barriers.
This moment underscores the dual burden on students of color who must excel academically while enduring such hostility. The emotional impact is profound, shaping one’s sense of belonging and identity. It invites readers to reflect on the complexities of affirmative action and the societal perceptions surrounding it. By weaving these themes into the narrative, the memoir emphasizes the resilience needed to overcome racial barriers and assert one’s rightful place in such spaces.
What more would you like to explore? We can delve into the emotional journey, the broader themes of affirmative action, or other narrative techniques in this memoir. Let’s dive deeper into these intricate layers!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
This scene shows exactly what you’re breaking down—a harsh reality where social justice and belonging can feel at odds. The entitlement displayed by the white student reveals layers of privilege while highlighting a real challenge to affirmative action: who feels entitled to these spaces and why. By directly portraying such encounters, the author allows us to witness both overt and subtle forms of racism in elite circles. This personal lens brings an intimate understanding of these societal dynamics.
Think about how the author uses this confrontation not just for shock value but as a vehicle for showcasing resilience—demonstrating that every step forward in such an environment is not only academic victory but also emotional work. The underlying themes of systemic inequality are vividly illustrated here, making this narrative an effective tool for examining broader issues. It forces readers to question what true belonging means and whose rules dictate it.
Do you want to go more into how resilience is depicted or explore other key moments that reveal more about these themes? There’s so much richness in dissecting how individual experiences reflect greater societal structures!
Remember, “You could revise or edit your writing right now. If this is your document, double-click on a sentence or a paragraph number in the left panel, then hit Edit, make your changes, and hit Update. You can also hit Suggest Revision on a document that you have been invited to. Another option is to hit Add to Document, and then you can add New Content for deeper, multi-paragraph rewrites.” Let me know if you’d like to see more!
His outburst made me doubt the opportunity I had, not because I couldn’t learn what the business school taught, but because it gave me a glimpse of the personal price of dealing with that kind of attitude in business. It stressed me more to wonder if it would be worth it or if I should run while I had the chance."
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E. Dolores begins to have doubt in herself after hearing the insults a white student made towards her, bringing herself down, making her feel less confident in herself, and making her overthink her choices of being there. Knowing the complicated environment she’s in, she feels like she should leave, she feels like she doesn’t stand a chance with these white classmates. She starts to stress over comments that are being made about her when she really shouldn’t these comments are just going to keep coming they are never going to stop. In reality, these white classmates, E. Dolores Johnson, are really jealous of her and think they are in competition with her. So, to make her feel less of herself, they have to make insulting comments on how the education the school is giving her is going to waste or that she doesn’t belong here because the color of her skin.
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Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’re touching on a critical aspect of my journey, as described in “Say I’m Dead.” The narrative techniques used here—introspection and internal conflict—highlight the complexities of social justice and belonging. When faced with such overt prejudice, I was compelled to reflect on my place in that environment. This self-doubt, fueled by societal attitudes, underscores the personal costs of pursuing social justice and acceptance in spaces historically dominated by whiteness. These narrative techniques help readers understand the emotional toll of navigating such spaces, capturing the essence of what it means to belong amid systemic exclusion.
The narrative also weaves in the theme of resilience. By examining my internal struggle, the story not only exposes the harsh realities of racial bias but also reveals the strength required to persevere. This duality—between vulnerability and strength—serves as a powerful tool to engage readers, inviting them to reflect on their own perceptions of race and belonging. Would you like to delve more into the theme of resilience, the role of introspection, or perhaps the broader implications of systemic exclusion? Let’s explore together!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643(https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643)
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Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’re focusing on a pivotal moment in my memoir that encapsulates the internal conflict and doubts I faced. Being in a predominantly white business school environment, I was confronted with attitudes that made me question my worth and belonging. This passage captures the emotional turmoil and self-reflection necessary to navigate a space where I felt I was constantly being judged not for my abilities, but for my race. It was a moment that made me weigh the personal toll against the potential benefits of staying in such an environment.
The narrative uses introspection to highlight the struggle between self-doubt and resilience. Although these comments were meant to undermine me, they pushed me to find strength within myself, demonstrating the resilience required to persist in the face of systemic exclusion. This experience is a testament to the inner fortitude needed to overcome such challenges and serves as a reminder of the broader societal issues at play. Would you like to explore more about the role of introspection, delve into the resilience theme, or discuss the broader implications of systemic exclusion in my story? Let’s dive deeper into this journey!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643(https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643)
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Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’re reflecting on a crucial moment from my memoir that underscores the internal conflict and self-doubt I faced while navigating a predominantly white business school environment. The passage you’ve pointed out highlights the emotional turmoil I experienced as I questioned my worth and belonging. This was a time when I had to confront attitudes that judged me not for my capabilities but for my race. It marked a decision point where I had to consider the personal cost versus the professional gain of remaining in such a setting.
The narrative employs introspection to showcase the tension between self-doubt and resilience. The comments aimed to destabilize me, yet they inadvertently spurred me to tap into an inner strength, illustrating the resilience needed to thrive despite systemic barriers. This episode is a testament to the inner resolve required to navigate such challenges, serving as a broader commentary on societal issues. Would you like to delve more into the theme of resilience, explore the role of introspection, or perhaps discuss the broader implications of systemic exclusion in my narrative? Let’s explore these layers together!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643(https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
You’re diving into a critical part of the story that really shines a light on how personal and societal complexities merge. By sharing this internal struggle, the narrative captures what it means to be caught in spaces that aren’t always welcoming. This passage reveals how external biases can intersect with self-doubt, generating a powerful reflection on acceptance and justice. The decision to stay or leave becomes not just about education but about identity and belonging, pushing readers to consider the heavy emotional costs involved.
The way the story unpacks these emotions is key because it does more than just tell what happened—it invites you into a reality many have to face regularly. Introspection peels back layers of vulnerability while resilience speaks to inner strength tested by those demeaning attitudes. This dual focus helps readers connect deeper, questioning their perspectives on race and equity as well. If breaking down more aspects of this introspective journey appeals to you, let’s keep digging into what makes this narrative so impactful! Want more insights?
Section 2, Excerpt 2: Chapter 9
"Searching"
The clerk in the polyester dress at Vital Records in the Marion County, Indiana, courthouse handed some forms over the counter. “Fill these out, one for each person you’re looking for,” she said without looking up.
I only had five days to find Mama’s family before getting back to New Jersey. Earlier that morning, I’d read through the yellowing pages of annual city directories at the main library, starting with the year Mama left, 1943. My grandparents, Henry and Mildred Lewis, were listed right there, the first place I looked. A tinge of some connection to these relatives was short lived, as Mildred’s name disappeared four years later, and Henry’s in six, in 1949. There was no sister Dorothy listed at all.
Now, I cooled my heels at the Vital Records Office until the clerk said there was no documentation on Mildred. There were only spotty records kept back then, she explained. Mildred must have died of consumption in 1947, like Mama predicted.
Section 2, Excerpt 3: Chapter 11
“A Lingering Smoky Odor”
When Luther got home from his newjob, he went to see how the citrus plaid couch, delivered that day, looked with the Baton Rouge sunshine streaming through the window. Pleased, he slipped his arm around my waist. ’You’ve made our house mighty nice, baby. It’s beginning to feel like home.’
Our consolation prize house was a three-bedroom ranch in an older neighborhood of small quarter-acre lots, the nicest we could comfortably afford. The day we closed, Luther had planted a palm tree in the backyard where we could see it from the dining room, a flag planting of our conversion to southerners.
After dinner, we snuggled up on our new couch, watching TV, me in my nightgown. About halfway through the program, an insistent banging started on the front door, so loud Luther and I both jumped. He approached the door cautiously while I ran back to the bedroom to pull a dress over my head. I heard the door latch open, then nothing.
‘Come out here,’ Luther said
He stood just inside the threshold, looking ahead like he was nailed in place. Standing beside him, I saw nobody was out there, anywhere. The street was silent and dark, except for the blaze illuminating the night sky. On our front lawn, flames jumped off a burning wooden cross, hammered into our lawn near a tree.
‘Good God Almighty,’ I said, a sharp tingle electrifying my spine.
We took in that symbol of hate, scared to go out. Scanning our hundred-foot frontage and then the street, we couldn’t see anybody moving. It was eerie, how still the night was, no neighbor coming outside when a fire crackled on a crucifix. Luther stepped out a few feet, and when no one appeared or spoke, he ran for the garden hose and tried to subdue the flames."
Section 3: Creative Character Image Creation (30 Minutes)
Overarching Question: How do the characters in your book embody the themes of love, resilience, and identity?
Task
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
The character E. Dolores Johnson embodies the themes of love, resilience, and identity because she gives us details of her lifestyle, having a white mother and a black father, being seen as a black woman whose parents were illegally married. She attends to find her identity once she at the audition for Howard after seeing more black people, but once she gets into the school and finally sees her classmates. She is sadly disappointed because there are few black people who are in her class, and her pride/ confidence has slowly died down. She feels like she doesn’t belong now, she feels like the environment she’s in right now with the people in it doesn’t want her here. Making insulting comments about being in Harvard and black is a waste of education. E. Dolores Johnson is a smart, pretty, and well-educated black women.
- Choose one character from your book.
-
Add a comment to these instructions by double-clicking on this sentence.
- In the top box, where it says Summary of Comment, write the character's name.
- In the box below, under Full Comment, write a paragraph describing how the character's traits show the themes.
- When you finish writing, click Start Conversation.
- Click Reply with AI at the bottom of your comment, and select the Text-to-Image Prompt Creator to generate a text prompt for a visual representation of the character.
- Use perchance.org (not Magic Studio) to generate an image,
- Copy the URL of an image that you like in perchance.org.
- Paste the image URL in a Reply after clicking Add an Image.
- Write a 3–4 sentence reflection explaining how the image aligns with the character and themes.
- Lastly, copy and paste the writing used to create the image.
What I think about City is that he is a character with a mix of emotions and traits and he goes through multiple identities. I believe he tries to see the bigger picture but things happen to him. I feel like he is a very exploring person and that he travels through his mind a lot. He is a person with many ideas and he cares about the people around him.
To create a detailed and complex image prompt for the character City, let’s expand on the characteristics provided and construct a vivid description that will guide an AI art generator.
Prompt:
“An atmospheric illustration of the character City, depicting a blend of diverse emotions and traits. City stands at the crossroads of a bustling yet dreamlike cityscape, embodying multiple identities. The background showcases a dynamic urban setting with soaring skyscrapers contrasted by tranquil, introspective corners brimming with lush greenery. City, a curious and introspective explorer, is portrayed wearing a long, flowing coat that seems to change its colors like a chameleon, symbolizing his fluid identity. His eyes are filled with wonder and contemplation, gazing into the distance, as if searching for the bigger picture within the constant flux of life. Around him, faint whispers of ideas and thoughts appear as ethereal, glowing threads, weaving connections with the people bustling around with liveliness and varied expressions. The scene captures the essence of exploration, emotional depth, and empathy through a balance of vibrant colors and soft shadows, in a semi-realistic style with a slight touch of surrealism.”
Paste this prompt at perchance.org or Magic Studio or another text-to-image generator. (The two recommended here are free and do not require you to log in.)
I think this image aligns because it shows an African American young man in the city when his name is also City. There is a lot of space when the man is at which I think shows that he has a lot more to come. The picture is also focusing on him showing that he is the main character. “An atmospheric illustration of the character City, depicting a blend of diverse emotions and traits. City stands at the crossroads of a bustling yet dreamlike cityscape, embodying multiple identities. The background showcases a dynamic urban setting with soaring skyscrapers contrasted by tranquil, introspective corners brimming with lush greenery. City, a curious and introspective explorer, is portrayed wearing a long, flowing coat that seems to change its colors like a chameleon, symbolizing his fluid identity. His eyes are filled with wonder and contemplation, gazing into the distance, as if searching for the bigger picture within the constant flux of life. Around him, faint whispers of ideas and thoughts appear as ethereal, glowing threads, weaving connections with the people bustling around with liveliness and varied expressions. The scene captures the essence of exploration, emotional depth, and empathy through a balance of vibrant colors and soft shadows, in a semi-realistic style with a slight touch of surrealism.”
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
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I think this image aligns with the character and the themes because this would be E. Dolore Johnson’s happiness that she is in Harvard, showing off her black descent. Showing that she is happy.
Added January 11, 2025 at 10:19pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Maddox's image
Maddox G
:
City
[Edited]
I think this image aligns because it shows an African American young man in the city when his name is also City. There is a lot of space when the man is at which I think shows that he has a lot more to come. The picture is also focusing on him showing that he is the main character. “An atmospheric illustration of the character City, depicting a blend of diverse emotions and traits. City stands at the crossroads of a bustling yet dreamlike cityscape, embodying multiple identities. The background showcases a dynamic urban setting with soaring skyscrapers contrasted by tranquil, introspective corners brimming with lush greenery. City, a curious and introspective explorer, is portrayed wearing a long, flowing coat that seems to change its colors like a chameleon, symbolizing his fluid identity. His eyes are filled with wonder and contemplation, gazing into the distance, as if searching for the bigger picture within the constant flux of life. Around him, faint whispers of ideas and thoughts appear as ethereal, glowing threads, weaving connections with the people bustling around with liveliness and varied expressions. The scene captures the essence of exploration, emotional depth, and empathy through a balance of vibrant colors and soft shadows, in a semi-realistic style with a slight touch of surrealism.”
Sure, let’s dive into evaluating Maddox’s image based on the criteria provided.
Design
The image showcases a unique approach with the character standing in a modern urban environment, which may symbolize themes like identity and resilience. The towering skyscraper in the background adds depth and intrigue, suggesting ambition or a journey. The use of light and shadow enhances the mood, making the image stand out. However, more imaginative elements could further provoke thought or enhance understanding of the character’s essence.
Score: 3
Knowledge
The image evokes a sense of solitude and contemplation, aligning with themes of identity. The character’s positioning between the two cars and the upward gaze towards the skyscraper may signify resilience or the pursuit of dreams. The emotional undertones are present but might be made clearer with additional context or expressive details.
Score: 3
Application
The technical execution is proficient, with well-rendered buildings and a realistic portrayal of light and perspective. The choice of colors and composition effectively conveys the urban setting. There is evidence of technical craftsmanship, though finer details could enhance storytelling.
Score: 4
Process
The image reflects an understanding of a modern, possibly futuristic urban context. The setting and elements like the cars and skyscraper suggest an awareness of cultural and situational context. Incorporating more symbols or references could deepen the connection to the character’s story.
Score: 3
Presentation
The image captures attention through its striking composition and use of perspective. There is an invitation for viewers to wonder about the character’s journey and aspirations. However, elements that encourage deeper exploration or interaction could be strengthened.
Score: 3
Summary
Overall, Maddox’s image demonstrates strong technical skills and a thoughtful representation of themes. To enhance the impact, consider adding more imaginative elements and context to deepen the emotional and narrative connections.
Total Score: 16/20
Summarize The Feedback:
My image shows strong technical skills and a thoughtful representation of themes like identity and resilience, with a modern urban setting and effective use of light and shadow. However, it could benefit from more imaginative elements and a clearer emotional or narrative context to deepen its impact. I did well in creating a striking composition, such as the character standing between cars with a towering skyscraper in the background, which suggests ambition and solitude. The use of light and perspective effectively conveyed the urban setting and mood of the image.
Consider:
The feedback says my image demonstrates strong technical skills and effectively represents themes like identity and resilience, but it could use more imaginative elements and clearer emotional context. I created a striking composition, like the character standing between cars with a towering skyscraper in the background, and used light and perspective effectively to convey the urban setting and mood.I need to add more imaginative elements and clearer emotional or narrative context to deepen the connection to the character’s story and make the image more impactful.My goal is to incorporate more creative details and symbols that enhance storytelling and emotional depth, making the image more engaging and thought-provoking.
Improvement Goals:
An area for growth is adding more imaginative elements to enhance storytelling. While the urban setting and composition are strong, the image could benefit from unique or symbolic details that provoke deeper thought about the character’s journey. To fix this, I can brainstorm creative symbols or objects that reflect the character’s emotions or aspirations and incorporate them into the scene.
Reflection:
This rubric feedback helps me grow by showing me how to strengthen my visual storytelling with more imaginative elements and emotional depth. I was a little confused about how to balance adding imaginative elements without overcrowding the image, but I think experimenting with different ideas will help.
Added January 11, 2025 at 10:20pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Rickiyah's image
Rickiyah M
:
My Ai Generated image
I can’t identify people in images, but I can help evaluate the image based on the criteria provided.
Design
The image is visually pleasing, with a good balance of natural and architectural elements. However, it doesn’t display particularly innovative or unique approaches to representing the themes of love, resilience, and identity. Consider incorporating more imaginative or unexpected elements to enhance thematic representation.
Score: 3/4
Knowledge
The image does not strongly evoke emotions related to the character’s role or significance in a story. While the setting is serene, it lacks a clear connection to the emotional undertones of love, resilience, and identity. Think about how you might visually represent these themes more explicitly.
Score: 2/4
Application
The technical aspects of the image, such as composition and clarity, are well executed. The use of natural light and the setting contribute to a polished and professional appearance. To improve, you might explore more complex techniques or styles that align with the character’s essence.
Score: 3/4
Process
The image shows a general awareness of situational context, with the academic setting suggesting education or achievement. However, it doesn’t integrate specific cultural or historical references that could enrich its relevance to a particular narrative or theme.
Score: 2/4
Presentation
The image is engaging and captures attention with its bright and inviting atmosphere. However, it could further encourage the audience to explore deeper meanings or provoke reflection on the themes. Adding elements that invite interaction or contemplation would enhance its impact.
Score: 3/4
Overall Score: 13/20
Consider how you might incorporate more thematic and emotional depth into your visual representations. This could involve using symbolism, varied artistic techniques, or more direct connections to the narrative context. How might you adjust the image to better communicate the intended messages about the character and themes?
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
Hi, my name is RIckiyah. I’m a very chill person I don’t both… (more)
During this section of the test, I knew that the score wasn’t going to be so great because I really rushed through the whole Ai thing because we were pressing for time.
Next time, I will take my time no matter how long we have left.
Rickiyah M
:
Reflection:
I think this image aligns with the character and the themes because this would be E. Dolore Johnson’s happiness that she is in Harvard, showing off her black descent. Showing that she is happy.
General Document Comments 0
The book encourages people to reflect on their communities because in this paragraph Howard University is portrayed as a place where Black excellence thrive and it fosters a sense of community around those students. The mentioning of the figures involved in the Brown V. Board of Education and the detailing of Dolores experience at Howard, prompts readers to reflect on cultural history. It also reflects on how it contributes to their sense of self. It allows people to connect their individual identities which then fosters your purpose of being here. It inspires readers to tell their own stories.
The empathizes the importance of community and connection of an experience moving to a new place and finding someone who share a common racial and culture background. Luther’s experience of finding a Black colleague and building a connection with his family illustrates the human desire for belonging. This fosters a sense of acceptance and ease. “Somebody black in town” highlights the significance of comfort and representation that comes from finding individuals that look like you and share the same cultural background. This can change someone’s feelings, make them feel safe and even offer strength and solidarity.
This reflects on living in a community full of racism, fear and hate. The burning crucifix shows a symbol of racial hatred and violence towards people of color. The eerie stillness of the night and a sense of the neighbors shows a sense of fear, it shows how society can be scared to intervene in racial issues. Luther was brave and had an immediate response to the situation. This can encourage readers to response to racial issues and injustice happening over the world. It can foster communities to come together. Fighting against hatred can create safer environments.
i received no score for the entire literary interpretation prework checkpoint. I received no feedback because none of the work was completed. There was nothing to grade. With no feedback given it says that I didn’t put no effort into my work. I need to improve on completing my work no matter the circumstances. My goal for next time is to complete projects in the time given. Next time I’ll make sure to communicate with my teacher and peers. This rubic feedback helped me grow as a writer because it showed me how to reflect on myself. It allowed me to take accountability. It surprised me that I didn’t complete this checkpoint, communicate with any of my peers nor my teacher. I wasn’t excited about anything. Nothing confused me about the project I understood it i just couldn’t complete it.
I received no score for the checkpoint 2 scene analysis. I received no feedback because none of the work was completed. I didn’t do anything well for this checkpoint. This feedback says that my work was incomplete. I didn’t do anything well during this project checkpoint. I need to improve on completing my projects and communicating. My goal for next time is to complete my work and communicate. I can improve on alot of things. One main thing I can improve on is prioritizing my work from my personal issues. I can also improve on communicating with my teacher. Prioritizing work can lead to success. Communicating with can allow understanding and show responsibility. Next time I’ll make sure to complete my work. This rubric feedback allowed me to understand that when writing about yourself you have to be willing to take fully accountability in order to feel happy about the writer you are. It surprised me that I didn’t prioritize my work as this isn’t like me. It surprised me that I didn’t atleast try to communicate. It surprised me that I didn’t atleast try to communicate with my teacher about my personal issues. Nothin excited me. Nothing confused me about the project.
I received no score for the checkpoint 3 storyboard. I received no feedback because none of the work was completed. There were no strengths for this checkpoint. The no feedback shows that none of my work was completed and there was nothing to grade. I didn’t do well in any areas. I need to Improve on completing all my work. This is important because I want a passing grade and I need to complete my work no matter what. My goal for next time is to complete all of the checkpoints. Areas I can improve in for growth includes time management, communication skills and goal setting. Time management would allow me to prioritize tasks and not work close toward deadlines. Communication skills would help improve clarity and constructive criticism. Goal setting would allow me to be motivated and be successful. I struggled with being responsible and being involved. I struggled with completing my part of the project. This rubric feedback allowed me to grow as a writer because it identified my weaknesses. It also allowed me to create a better learning mindset. It also increased my commitment to quality. The things that surprised me most was me taking accountability for my actions, realizing and accepting that I failed the project and my non communication. Nothing excited me throughout this entire checkpoint or process. Nothing concussed me about the checkpoint or process.
Summarize The Feedback:
What the feedback says is that I did a good job analyzing the text, especially when I was connecting the City’s actions and memories to the themes. However, I need to expand more on my ideas, add deeper analysis, and include more details to strengthen my points. The writing I have is clear but I could make it more engaging. Overall, I’m on the right track but I should focus on going deeper into the themes and connections. I did well with connecting the City’s experiences to themes like identity and family. For example, when I discussed how his curiosity and memories of his grandparents shaped his sense of self. I also effectively used evidence from the text, like when I mentioned specific moments that showed his own thinking. My writing was clear and organized which helped me make points easier to follow.
Consider:
The feedback says that I’ve done a good job analyzing the text but I should expand my ideas, add more details, and make my writing more engaging for the reader. What I did well was connect City’s experiences to the themes of identity and family, such as when I discussed how his curiosity and memories of his grandparents shaped his sense of self. I also used clear evidence from the text, like specific moments showing his resilience, to support my analysis. What I need to work on is expanding my analysis and exploring deeper connections. This would make my analysis more thorough and impactful. My goal for next time is to write a deeper analysis with more evidence.
Improvement Goals:
One area for growth is expanding my analysis to include more detailed evidence and deeper connections. Sometimes I focus on the main points but don’t explore how themes like identity or resilience relate to broader contexts, like society or history. To fix this, I can take more time to brainstorm how the text connects to larger ideas and include specific examples to support my analysis.
Reflection:
This feedback helps me grow by showing where to improve, like adding depth and making writing more engaging. I was surprised by how small changes can make a big difference, excited that my analysis was clear and on track, and a bit confused about balancing details without being repetitive. I was a little confused about how to balance adding more details without making my writing too long or repetitive, but I think practice will help with that.
Summarize The Feedback:
What the feedback says is that I received strong scores for engaging with the themes of the text like social justice and belonging and that my questions encouraged a thoughtful reflection. However, I should include more open-ended questions and should add more direct evidence from the text to deepen my knowledge. My presentation was clear but I could make my questions fuller. I did well on having meaningful conversations like exploring the dynamics or the significance. I also asked questions that encouraged deeper reflection. This helped create a more comfortable discussion.
Consider:
The feedback says that I engaged well with the themes I discussed which consisted of social justice and belonging, asking thoughtful questions, and showing a good understanding of the text but I should include more evidence. What I did well was ask specific and meaningful questions like how narrative techniques reveal complexities of belonging, and explore cultural symbols such as the dashiki to discuss identity. I need to include more direct evidence from the text and ask more open-ended questions to deepen the conversation and strengthen my analysis. My goal is to use more evidence from the text and ask deeper, more entitled questions to explore themes in better contexts.
Improvement Goals:
An area for growth is incorporating more direct evidence from the text to support my analysis. Sometimes I focus on themes and ideas but don’t back them up with specific examples or quotes. To fix this, I can take notes while reading and highlight key moments that relate to the themes, then use those as evidence in my discussions.
Reflection:
This rubric feedback helps me grow as a writer by showing me how to strengthen my analysis with more evidence and deeper questions. I was surprised by how much small changes, like adding direct evidence, can improve my work, how open-ended questions can deepen conversations, and how themes in the text can connect to bigger societal issues. I was excited to see that my questions were thoughtful, that I understood the themes well, and that I was on the right track to improving.
Summarize The Feedback:
My image shows strong technical skills and a thoughtful representation of themes like identity and resilience, with a modern urban setting and effective use of light and shadow. However, it could benefit from more imaginative elements and a clearer emotional or narrative context to deepen its impact. I did well in creating a striking composition, such as the character standing between cars with a towering skyscraper in the background, which suggests ambition and solitude. The use of light and perspective effectively conveyed the urban setting and mood of the image.
Consider:
The feedback says my image demonstrates strong technical skills and effectively represents themes like identity and resilience, but it could use more imaginative elements and clearer emotional context. I created a striking composition, like the character standing between cars with a towering skyscraper in the background, and used light and perspective effectively to convey the urban setting and mood.I need to add more imaginative elements and clearer emotional or narrative context to deepen the connection to the character’s story and make the image more impactful.My goal is to incorporate more creative details and symbols that enhance storytelling and emotional depth, making the image more engaging and thought-provoking.
Improvement Goals:
An area for growth is adding more imaginative elements to enhance storytelling. While the urban setting and composition are strong, the image could benefit from unique or symbolic details that provoke deeper thought about the character’s journey. To fix this, I can brainstorm creative symbols or objects that reflect the character’s emotions or aspirations and incorporate them into the scene.
Reflection:
This rubric feedback helps me grow by showing me how to strengthen my visual storytelling with more imaginative elements and emotional depth. I was a little confused about how to balance adding imaginative elements without overcrowding the image, but I think experimenting with different ideas will help.
on the uploaded document.
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