[3 of 5] Midterm Exam for English 3D, December 2024
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| When | Why |
|---|---|
| Jan-11-25 | Gavin's image |
| Jan-11-25 | Zahir's image |
| Jan-11-25 | Malaya's image |
| Jan-13-25 | Dayyan's image |
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Structure: Three Sections (30 Minutes Each)
Section 1: Textual Analysis Without a Writing Partner
Section 2: Textual Analysis With a Writing Partner
Section 3: Creative Character Image Creation and Comment
Each the first two sections include three 3-paragraph excerpts from each text and an overarching question.
Please choose one 3-paragraph excerpt in each section and comment on each paragraph in the excerpt of your choice. In your comments, explain what your chosen excerpt shows about the overarching question.
Section 1: Textual Analysis Without a Writing Partner (30 Minutes)
Certainly, Dayyan. Let’s break down your work based on the five criteria. I’ll go through each one and provide my feedback. Afterward, let me know if you want more details on any of the points.
Design
You wrote three comments, each with several sentences that explore different aspects of the text. Your analysis shows a thoughtful engagement with the themes of identity and family secrets. Each comment is organized and flows logically, which helps enhance comprehension. However, there’s room to tighten your structure by ensuring each comment maintains a strict 8-10 sentence limit and focuses sharply on a single idea or theme. Overall, I’d give you an 8 out of 10 here.
Knowledge
Your understanding of the book’s themes is evident. You connect the text’s family dynamics and identity exploration with relatable experiences, which deepens the analysis. You support your ideas with direct evidence from the text, like the quotes about City’s reflections and memories. To elevate this section, you might focus on integrating more detailed textual evidence to bolster your points even further. For this criterion, I’d score you a 9 out of 10.
Application
You employ various analytical strategies, drawing thematic connections between City’s experiences and broader concepts of family and identity. You link City’s reflections to your own insights, which helps elucidate these themes. There’s room to sharpen these connections by explicitly tying back your observations to the text’s overarching narrative or other characters’ development. I’d give you an 8 out of 10 here.
Process
You’ve completed all aspects of the task within the time constraints, showing attention to detail. You could enhance this by more explicitly outlining your analytical goals in each comment, which would guide the reader through your thought process more clearly. This would also help ensure that all aspects of the text are addressed comprehensively. I’d score this section an 8 out of 10.
Presentation
Your communication of analysis and main ideas is clear and cohesive. The language is mostly precise, though there are a few grammatical errors and typos, such as “secrects” instead of “secrets” and “thing” instead of “think.” Consider reviewing your work for these minor errors, as this will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Here, I’d give you a 7 out of 10.
Overall, your total score would be 40 out of 50. You’re doing great work in engaging with the text and reflecting on its themes. Keep fine-tuning your analysis and presentation, and you’ll continue to improve. Let me know if you want to dive deeper into any of these areas!
Design
You have a solid foundation here, Gavin, with three distinct comments, each delving into different aspects of the text. Your comments are structured into compositions of 8-10 sentences, which is great. However, the flow within each comment could be improved for better coherence. For instance, in the first comment, you jump between different ideas like Grandma’s strength and the racial tension without clear transitions. How might you connect these ideas more smoothly to maintain a logical flow? This would help the reader follow your analysis more easily. Score: 7/10
Knowledge
Your understanding of the themes of identity and resilience is evident. You explore how family, community, and history shape identity, using Grandma and the shed as symbols. You also touch on racial tension, which adds depth to your analysis. However, your points could be better supported with more direct evidence from the text. What specific parts of the text can you quote or reference to strengthen your arguments? Score: 8/10
Application
You employ a variety of analytical skills, discussing themes related to family, community, and history. The thematic connections are present, but they could be more sharply elucidated. For example, you mention Grandma as a protector but don’t fully explore how this ties into the broader theme of family resilience. How can you delve deeper into these connections to make them more explicit? Score: 7/10
Process
You’ve done well in completing the task within the time constraints, and you’ve covered all aspects of the task. However, there are areas where more attention to detail could enhance your analysis. For instance, clarifying your points with direct evidence from the text could provide more depth. How might you refine your process to ensure every point is detailed and supported? Score: 8/10
Presentation
Your communication is clear, and you effectively convey your main ideas. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could affect clarity. For instance, “ununormalized food” might be better expressed as “uncommon food items reflect their rural roots.” How might you revise your language to enhance clarity for your audience? Consider how different language varieties can be strategically used to reach your audience effectively. Score: 7/10
Overall Score: 37/50
Would you like more specifics on any of these points?
Design
You have provided three comments, and each one is structured as a separate thoughtful analysis. Each comment is well-organized and flows logically, making it easy to follow your thoughts. You have successfully planned and structured short compositions that stay focused on the themes discussed. However, ensure that each paragraph maintains an 8-10 sentence length for consistency. Overall, your design is strong and purposeful.
Score: 9/10
Knowledge
You demonstrate a deep understanding of the themes of identity and resilience in the text. You provide insightful reflections on how these themes manifest in the characters’ experiences. For example, you discuss how Dolores Johnson’s experience at Howard University reflects the pride and identity of Black and Brown people, which challenges stereotypes. However, you could strengthen your analysis by including more direct quotes from the text to support your interpretations.
Score: 8/10
Application
You employ various analytical skills, such as exploring the thematic connections to identity, community, and history. You successfully elucidate these connections, particularly in how pride in identity is expressed through cultural markers like clothing and language. You also reflect on the societal context outside of Howard University, adding depth to your analysis. Consider exploring more diverse analytical strategies to deepen your critique further.
Score: 8/10
Process
You have taken the necessary steps to achieve your analytical goals within the time constraints. Your comments are thorough, and you cover all aspects of the task with attention to detail. You might want to ensure that each comment is balanced in length and detail for a more consistent approach.
Score: 9/10
Presentation
You communicate your analysis clearly and cohesively. Your language is precise, which supports the quality and clarity of your critique. There are a few instances where sentence structures could be varied for a more engaging read, but overall, your presentation is effective. Keep considering your audience and how different linguistic choices might enhance your arguments.
Score: 9/10
Summary Score
43/50
Feel free to ask for more details or feedback on specific sections if needed. Would you like to see more detailed feedback on any particular aspect?
Design
You have written three comments, which is a great start in addressing the task. You aim to structure each comment with a thoughtful analysis, but the organization and flow could be improved. For example, in your comments, you often jump between ideas without clear transitions, such as moving from questioning the grandmother’s actions to discussing the grandfather’s woodworking. To enhance comprehension, consider structuring your comments with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to guide the reader through your analysis.
Score: 6/10
Knowledge
Your comments demonstrate an understanding of the book’s themes of identity and family connections. You highlight how the protagonist reflects on his family history and the significance of the shed. However, your ideas could be more deeply supported with direct evidence from the text. You mention quotes like “grandma kept the key to the shed on her key chain” and “he’d make tables, chairs, and cabinets out of wood,” which are a good start. To strengthen your analysis, try to elaborate on how these quotes specifically relate to the themes of identity and resilience.
Score: 7/10
Application
You employ some analytical skills in discussing the excerpt, such as questioning the grandmother’s motives and reflecting on the grandfather’s legacy. However, the thematic connections to family and history are not sharply elucidated. You touch upon these themes but could delve deeper into how they affect the protagonist’s sense of self and resilience. Consider exploring the emotional impact of these family connections on the protagonist and how they shape his identity.
Score: 6/10
Process
You have made an effort to complete the task within the time constraints, but some aspects of the analysis could be more fully realized. While you address the main points, there is room for more attention to detail in your critique. Ensure that you fully explore each idea and provide sufficient evidence and explanation to support your points. This will help you achieve your analytical goals more effectively.
Score: 6/10
Presentation
Your writing communicates your analysis and main ideas, but there are areas where clarity and cohesion could be improved. Some sentences are fragmented, and the grammar could be refined to enhance the quality of your critique. For example, consider revising sentences for conciseness and ensuring proper punctuation. You might also think about how the use of varied sentence structures can make your writing more engaging and easy to follow.
Score: 6/10
Summary Score: 31/50
Your comments reflect a good understanding of the text’s themes, but there are opportunities for improvement in organization, depth of analysis, and grammatical precision. Consider focusing on structuring your comments more clearly and supporting your analysis with detailed evidence from the text. Keep practicing, and you’ll continue to grow in your ability to analyze and communicate your ideas effectively. Would you like to explore any specific area further or see more suggestions?
Task
- Choose one excerpt and comment on every paragraph in that excerpt.
- In each comment write a short composition (1–2 paragraphs) addressing the overarching question.
- Use evidence from the book and explain how the that excerpt illustrates the theme of identity and resilience.
Overarching Question: How does the book encourage readers to reflect on their identities and connections to family, community, or history?
Excerpts from Long Division, Book One, pages 103-153 by Kiese Laymon (2013)
Choose One
Section 1, Excerpt 1: THAT WORK SHED
Chapter: Book One, pages 103-106
When I made it home, Grandma wasn’t there. I was swelling from the stings, but I realized this was my chance to see if that white man was really in the work shed. Grandma kept the key to the shed on her key chain that was on the dresser under her old wigs. The key chain had a million keys on it. Plus, she had this heavy pocket blade connected to her keys. She never let me hold the blade, but you could tell from just looking at it that it could slice many necks if need be.
I took the knife and Grandma’s keys and slowly made my way out to the work shed. The shed was covered in off-white vinyl siding and, like Grandma’s house, it was raised off the ground by cinder blocks. There were two words written on the shed but they had been scratched out with a black marker. Every kid who ever saw the shed said it looked like the color of a second-grade writing tablet. You couldn’t tell how much of the off-whiteness was bought and how much of it came from just being dirty. There were no windows, just four baseball-sized holes in the back, way up at the top. Every Tuesday, from sunup to sundown, my granddaddy used to sweat up a storm in that shed. Tuesdays and Sundays were my granddaddy’s only off days. Tuesdays, he’d make tables, chairs, and cabinets out of wood. Sundays, he’d drink until he couldn’t see straight enough to use anything he’d made. Grandma took all the saws out of the shed when my granddaddy drowned, but she left all the sawdust, wood chips, and cinder blocks on the floor. I liked to mess around in there, knowing I was walking on the same sawdust my granddaddy walked on.
After my granddaddy drowned, Grandma put a deep freezer in the shed filled with ice cream and animal parts. On the walls were these wooden shelves stocked with jars of pickles, preserves, pigs’ feet, and just about anything else Grandma could think of to can. If you ever got hungry, there was always something in that shed to eat, and it was probably going to be something super country like pickled pigs’ feet or raccoon. Or ice cream sandwiches.
Section 1, Excerpt 2: COMMON TO MAN
Chapter: Book One, pages 107-115
On Sunday morning, Grandma and I got in the Bonneville and headed to Concord Baptist Church at a little past eleven in the morning.
Nothing made sense.
I had found out that there were actually two Long Division books, the one I kept in the house and the one I decided to leave in the work shed with Sooo Sad. But the existence of at least two books was less confusing than the words in the books.
Maybe the book wasn’t a book at all, I thought. Maybe the book was the truth. If it was the truth, I had to figure out what it had to do with me. And if Baize wasn’t actually missing, but maybe just time traveling, that meant that Sooo Sad hadn’t really hurt her at all.
“City,” Grandma interrupted my thoughts while turning down the radio, “when you get saved, act like you got some sense. You hear me? Whole lotta folks get saved and it take them an entire life before they start living by God’s word. That’s them ol’ deathbed conversioners, them ol’ heathens trying to get to heaven a lifetime too late.”
I told Grandma that the car smelled like something died in the back seat and asked her who she was talking about. She ignored the comment about the smell and said that she wasn’t talking about anyone in particular.
When we made it to the dirt parking lot of Concord Baptist Church, the Bonneville stopped and Grandma swiveled her neck toward me. With her eyes a-twitching and mouth a-moving, almost in slow motion, Grandma said, “Okay now, City. It’s eleven forty-five. We still got time to send you up for altar call. Don’t act a fool up in here.”
Section 1, Excerpt 3: THEY WENT SWIMMING
Chapter: Book One, pages 149-153
Out in the parked Bonneville, LaVander Peeler sat in the back and I sat up front with Grandma. She sat there not saying a word for a few minutes, with one hand on my thigh and the car running. She took her hand from my thigh and cupped her face with both hands before massaging her temples with her thumbs. I placed my left hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it like she’d do to me when I couldn’t sleep.
I sat there, waiting for Grandma to say something and, really, waiting to hear from her about how being in love with Jesus was going to help us out of whatever situation we were in. I didn’t want no silly voices pass-interfering when Jesus decided to let me know what to do next. But even if you put it on the strongest leash ever, and even if you’re saved, the imagination makes more noise than a little bit and takes you wherever it wants to go.
And my imagination did exactly that. It took me right across the road into those Magic Woods and it had me stepping on dead catfish and brittle monkey bodies and the blue crossed eyeballs of white folks. All the while, all I could hear around me was Uncle Relle say-ing, “Gotdamnit. Gotdamnit. Gotdamnit.”
Jesus, I thought to myself, if you’re there, I’m not trying to cuss you. I swear I’m not.
Then, it took me back to a bed on a stage and Mama, Troll, Shay, Kincaid, and MyMy were there and they were all kissing me all over my stretch marks and showing stretch marks I never knew they had. Without warning, my imagination calmed down and took me right back to my baptism and that Halona King song was blasting on level eighty trillion.
I pulled Long Division from my bag. “Grandma, I’m fine,” I told her. “Really.”
Excerpts from Say I'm Dead: A Family Memoir of Race, Secrets, and Love (2020) by E. Dolores Johnson, Chapters 8 - 11
Choose One
Section 1, Excerpt 1: Chapter 8
“I Am Somebody”
In the fall of 1966, I hurried across campus to Howard University’s Crampton Auditorium and took a seat for freshman orientation. This was the start of my journey on the road to the good life, whatever that meant. The president, a warrior from the Brown v. Board of Education NAACP strategy team, welcomed our all black and brown class from everywhere in the diaspora, calling us the future of the race. We had been admitted, he said, in order to help raise our race. We, the talented tenth, would become all we could be, and lead our people’s progress. His message was as electrifying as the fact that he, the distinguished university president, was also black. So were the deans and administrators. It amazed me to see that black people could hold such lofty positions.
In the girl’s scholarship dorm, we buckled down, studying pharmacy, mathematics, and economics until the time we lived for came: Saturday night dances at the university ballroom. A girl down the hall had convinced me that “to be seen” at the dances I needed the sophisticated black-is-beautiful Afro of a Howard woman. The campus was leaning into Afrocentric everything. Girls wore kente cloth wrap skirts as we greeted each other in Swahili. Jambo! Habari gani? The school of social work was focused on the particular needs of the black community such as poverty and poor education, and the medical school was the center of research on sickle cell anemia, which afflicted mainly African Americans.
A dormmate criticized girls on the floor who straightened the natural curl and kink out of their hair as wanting to be like white people. It wasn’t done at Howard, that kind of self-hating denial of your own gene pool. Trying to suppress the “good hair” spawned by my white mo-ther, I sat on the floor between my friend’s knees as she rubbed alcohol-soaked cotton onto my roots and strands. My hair kinked more and blew up in volume to something worthier of hep black women. Then I hurried across campus, to show my blacker stuff in the elbow-to-armpit ballroom dance.
Section 1, Excerpt 2: Chapter 9
“Searching”
At a gas stop, I hesitated over the impulse to take the TripTik option to detour onto a longer way through Mississippi, down along the scenic Biloxi and Gulfport beach coast on the Gulf of Mexico. But I didn’t make that choice either. Those places probably weren’t for me, or any African Americans, even if I stayed in the car and just looked through the window. I wasn’t fool enough to risk getting caught in the dark in Mississippi. And the extra time it took might mean being too exhausted to get to Baton Rouge that night. No way would I sleep in Mississippi. So, I plowed on straight to Baton Rouge, missing all the sights that called to me, because I was afraid. As life would have it, there has never been another chance for me to see any of those places.
Luther and I got off to a good start in Baton Rouge, learning the layout of the town with very helpful assistance from the pleasant hotel staff. They pointed out landmarks, marked routes to our jobs on maps, told us how the Louisiana State University (LSU) football games took over the town. And they sent us down the Airline Highway to Ralph & Kacoo’s restaurant, where we were made comfortable by the smiling white hostess who welcomed us with chatty charm. That Cajun food was so delicious we went back again and again, each time eating the whole bowl of hot hushpuppies with fried fish from the Mississippi, Atchafalaya crawfish tails in thick étouffée sauce, seafood gumbo, and shrimp stew, but never the alligator bites. The famed southern hospitality we encountered everywhere was so lovely after New York’s brusqueness, we questioned what my father had been talking about.
Luther found a black colleague at the plant who also lived in Baton Rouge, and they began carpooling for the forty-five-mile commute. We were invited over to meet his wife and small children, where we were taken in warmly. It felt good to make that early connection, to know somebody black in town we could visit with, and to look forward to others they planned to introduce us to. The easy way we newcomers were welcomed as members of the tribe made the move feel comfortable.
Section 1, Excerpt 3: Chapter 10
“Deep South”
When Luther got home from his newjob, he went to see how the citrus plaid couch, delivered that day, looked with the Baton Rouge sunshine streaming through the window. Pleased, he slipped his arm around my waist. “You’ve made our house mighty nice, baby. It’s beginning to feel like home.”
Our consolation prize house was a three-bedroom ranch in an older neighborhood of small quarter-acre lots, the nicest we could comfortably afford. The day we closed, Luther had planted a palm tree in the backyard where we could see it from the dining room, a flag planting of our conversion to southerners.
After dinner, we snuggled up on our new couch, watching TV, me in my nightgown. About halfway through the program, an insistent banging started on the front door, so loud Luther and I both jumped. He approached the door cautiously while I ran back to the bedroom to pull a dress over my head. I heard the door latch open, then nothing.
“Come out here,” Luther said.
He stood just inside the threshold, looking ahead like he was nailed in place. Standing beside him, I saw nobody was out there, anywhere. The street was silent and dark, except for the blaze illuminating the night sky. On our front lawn, flames jumped off a burning wooden cross, hammered into our lawn near a tree.
“Good God Almighty,” I said, a sharp tingle electrifying my spine.
We took in that symbol of hate, scared to go out. Scanning our hundred-foot frontage and then the street, we couldn’t see anybody moving. It was eerie, how still the night was, no neighbor coming outside when a fire crackled on a crucifix. Luther stepped out a few feet, and when no one appeared or spoke, he ran for the garden hose and tried to subdue the flames.
“Do you think they’re going to kill us?” I whispered.
He hesitated. “Not tonight, I don’t. There’s no mob in sheets out here. Otherwise we’d already be hurt, or dead.”
Section 2: Textual Analysis With a Writing Partner (30 Minutes)
Sure, Dayyan. Let’s break it down and see how you’re doing in each category for your Section 2 midterm textual analysis with the writing partners.
Design: 6/6
You effectively engaged both the Improv Teammate and the Kiese Laymon Simulator, which is great for covering different perspectives. You started conversations by raising issues like family traditions and connections, which are central to the text. Your exchange with the writing partners was thoughtful and purposeful, with more than five statements or questions that logically connected to each other. For instance, you asked about the meaning of the colors in the dashiki, which shows you’re thinking deeper about the text.
Knowledge: 5/6
You showed a good understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging, especially in discussing the cultural significance of the dashiki and the family dynamics. Your ideas were mostly supported by evidence from the text, like when you quoted City’s feelings about the dashiki. However, you might want to dig a bit deeper into how these themes connect to larger societal issues for a stronger demonstration of your knowledge.
Application: 5/6
You did a solid job of understanding the writing partners’ responses and used them to expand the conversation. You engaged with the themes of social justice and belonging through your questions and comments, like when you explored City’s internal conflict with cultural expectations. To enhance this, you could further explore how these personal experiences relate to broader societal contexts.
Process: 6/6
You asked open-ended questions that invited further discussion, such as when you asked about exploring more elements of the scene. The conversation developed in depth, with more than five replies, allowing for a full exploration of the text’s issues.
Presentation: 5/6
Your communication was clear and cohesive, effectively conveying your analysis and main ideas. The language and grammar in your questions supported the quality and clarity of your critique. To improve, consider varying your sentence structure to maintain reader engagement and further emphasize your analysis points.
Summary Score: 27/30
Overall, you did an excellent job engaging with the text and the writing partners. You have a strong grasp of the themes, and your interactions were insightful. Keep pushing yourself to make connections between the text and larger societal themes, and you’ll strengthen your analysis even more. Keep up the good work!
Sure, I’ll evaluate your work based on the provided criteria. Let’s dive into it:
Design (4/6)
You engaged with the Kiese Laymon Simulator and demonstrated thoughtful engagement with the text by discussing themes of social justice and belonging. However, it seems like you only interacted with one Writing Partner. Consider expanding your exchanges to include both Improv Teammate and another Writing Partner to maximize your exploration. You did provide multiple thoughtful questions and statements, but there could be a bit more depth in connecting them logically.
Knowledge (5/6)
You showed a solid understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging. You mentioned how personal items are used to symbolize identity and culture, and how humor reveals self-awareness and societal dynamics. However, adding more direct evidence from the text could strengthen your arguments even further.
Application (5/6)
You demonstrated an understanding of the Writing Partner’s responses and engaged effectively in the conversation. Your comments on the narrative techniques and their impact on themes of social justice and belonging were insightful. To enhance your exploration, consider expanding on how these themes are portrayed in other parts of the narrative.
Process (4/6)
You asked open-ended questions and fostered a thoughtful dialogue. However, there is room for more depth in discussing specific issues, circumstances, or events in the text. Try to develop a more comprehensive conversation with multiple exchanges to explore various perspectives.
Presentation (5/6)
Your analysis and main ideas were communicated clearly and cohesively. Your language and grammar supported the quality of your critique, making your points easy to understand. Just ensure that your language remains precise and focused on the themes at hand.
Summary Score: 23/30
Overall, you did a commendable job in engaging with the narrative and exploring complex themes of social justice and belonging. To improve, consider broadening your interaction with different Writing Partners and deepening your discussions with more textual evidence and varied perspectives. Keep up the great work!
Certainly, Malaya! Let’s go through your work based on the criteria provided.
Design
You engaged with both the Improv Teammate and the E. Dolores Johnson Simulator, which is great. You initiated thoughtful discussions about social justice and belonging, and your conversations were purposeful and well-structured. You prompted your Writing Partners with clear and logical connections, exceeding the minimum of five questions or statements. Your work shows a strong design in engaging with the text and your partners.
Score: 6/6
Knowledge
You demonstrated a deep understanding of the book’s themes of social justice and belonging. You supported your ideas with evidence from the text, quoting specific scenes and dialogue that illustrate the challenges faced by the characters. Your analysis of the imagery and the social implications shows a nuanced grasp of the material.
Score: 6/6
Application
You seem to understand the responses from your Writing Partners well. You expanded on the conversation by connecting the themes of social justice and belonging to broader historical and societal contexts. Your engagement with the Writing Partners reflects a thoughtful exploration of these themes.
Score: 6/6
Process
You asked open-ended questions that expanded and extended the conversation. Your five or more replies developed the conversation in depth, allowing for a comprehensive discussion of the issues in the text. You took necessary steps to fully discuss the circumstances and events presented in the text.
Score: 6/6
Presentation
Your questions and analysis communicated your ideas clearly and cohesively. You used language effectively to support the quality and clarity of your critique. Your writing is engaging and demonstrates a strong understanding of the material.
Score: 6/6
Summary
Overall, your work in this section is excellent. You’ve demonstrated a strong ability to engage with the text and your Writing Partners thoughtfully and effectively. Your analysis is insightful, and your presentation is clear and well-organized.
Total Score: 30/30
Great job! Keep up the excellent work in developing your analytical skills and engaging with complex themes. If you want to explore further or have any questions, feel free to ask!
Sure, let’s dive into evaluating Zahir’s work based on the five criteria you’ve outlined. I’ll break down each category and provide a score along with feedback.
Design
Zahir engages with the Kiese Laymon Simulator by posing thoughtful questions about the text, such as “Why did City write a will if he wasn’t going to die?” and “Does it matter who judges you?” These questions initiate a meaningful conversation with the Writing Partner and demonstrate a thoughtful exploration of the text’s themes. However, Zahir only interacts with one Writing Partner, missing the opportunity to engage with Improv Teammate or E. Dolores Johnson Simulator. Additionally, while Zahir writes multiple questions, the exchange could be more structured and focused on developing a cohesive narrative. Therefore, I would score this section a 4.
Knowledge
Zahir demonstrates a solid understanding of the themes of social justice and belonging, as evidenced by his questions that probe the motivations and implications of the characters’ actions. Questions like “Why didn’t City just do something to be remembered by?” reveal an understanding of the complexities of legacy and identity. However, the analysis could be deepened by integrating more direct evidence from the text to support his interpretations. Therefore, I would score this section a 5.
Application
Zahir shows an understanding of the Writing Partner’s responses and engages in a conversation that reflects an exploration of the themes of social justice and belonging. He asks follow-up questions and shows curiosity about the narrative’s implications, such as “Why did City’s uncle record him if he didn’t want to be recorded?” However, there could be more explicit connections made between the text and his own insights. Therefore, I would score this section a 4.
Process
Zahir’s questions are open-ended and designed to expand the conversation, which they do effectively. He asks more than five questions, facilitating a dialogue that explores various aspects of the text. However, some questions could be more focused to ensure a deeper exploration of specific issues, and there could be more development in the depth of the conversation. Therefore, I would score this section a 5.
Presentation
Zahir communicates his analysis and main ideas clearly through his questions, which are grammatically correct and well-structured. His language supports the clarity of his critique, and he effectively raises points for discussion. However, there could be more emphasis on crafting questions that tie together his insights more cohesively. Therefore, I would score this section a 5.
In summary, Zahir’s work is thoughtful and shows a strong engagement with the text, but there are areas where a deeper analysis and more structured engagement could elevate the discussion. The overall score is 23 out of 30. Keep pushing forward, Zahir, and consider how you can integrate direct evidence and engage more deeply with multiple writing partners to enrich your analysis!
Task
- Choose one excerpt and Ask AI for every paragraph in that excerpt.
- Select both the Improv Teammate and the Author simulator for your book.
- Begin a conversation with a Writing Partner by writing a short composition (1–2 paragraphs) addressing the overarching question.
- Use evidence from the book and explain how this excerpt illustrates the theme of identity and resilience.
- Go back and forth, using Reply and Reply with AI more than 5 times with the Writing Partner, going deeper into your thinking each time. Do this for each paragraph in your chosen excerpt.
Overarching Question: How do the authors use narrative techniques to reveal the complexities of social justice and belonging?
Excerpts from Long Division, Book One, pages 103-153 by Kiese Laymon (2013)
Choose One
Section 2, Excerpt 1: A Will
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 116 – 120
I leave my Pine wave brush to LaVander Peeler. I leave my XL mesh shorts to Shay. I leave my grown-folks books to Shay and Kincaid, and a few of my illiterate kids’ books to MyMy. I leave my cell phone to my grandma because she needs one even though they don’t ever get decent reception down here. I leave my essays to Mama. I leave my vintage Walter Payton jerseys to LaVander Peeler. I leave my new book to Grandma because she taught me how to read. I leave my Obama Loves the South T-shirt to Shay. I want to leave my spot on that TV show to Grandma, too. She’d be better than I ever would be. And if Grandma won’t do it, I leave it to that Mexican girl from Arizona, the one who I should not have dissed. I leave my password to my email, Twitter, and Facebook to my Uncle Relle. It’s W-H-0-S-T-A-N-K.
In the middle of my will in Long Division, I smelled Sooo Sad and got that feeling that someone was looking at me. I turned around and there was Uncle Relle filming me with one of his cell phones. “Oh hey, Uncle Relle. You smell funny.” “Funny how?” he said, and he put one of his hands in his pockets. “Don’t worry about how I smell, City. Keep doing you, like I ain’t even here.” “It’s hard to do me when I know you’re trying to record me doing me,” I told him. “Well, you better get good at acting like you’re doing you in the future. The reality TV shit, it’s about acting like the camera ain’t there. You can’t be looking all in the camera and making faces.” Uncle Relle turned his phone camera off and put it in some leather case he kept on his belt. “It’s a few basics that I think you haven’t really ingratiated yourself to.” “You mean gravitated to?” “Just listen, City. Close that gotdamn book.” I closed my book and braced myself for another one of Uncle Relle’s speeches.
“This writing thing, it ain’t like that hip-hop shit, City. For li’l niggas like you,” he told me, “this writing thing is like a gotdamn porta potty. It’s one li’l nigga at a time, shitting in the toilet, funking up the little space he get. And you shit a regular shit or a classic shit. Either way,” he said. “City, you gotta shit classic, then get your Black ass on off the pot.” He actually grabbed my hand. “You probably think I’m hyping you just for the money. It ain’t just about the money. It’s really not. It’s about doing whatever it takes for you to have your voice heard. So I don’t know what you’re writing in that book you always carrying around, but it better be classic because you ain’t gonna get no two times to get it right, you hear me?” “I hear you.” Uncle Relle put Grandma’s keys on the stove next to all this German chocolate cake she’d made. He told me he had some phone calls to make so he was about to walk down the road and try to find a signal. That was his way of saying he was going to buy some more weed from Alcee Mayes. When Uncle Relle walked down the road, I decided to go look in the work shed again.
Section 2, Excerpt 2: Blouses
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 123 – 127
I was two hours and twenty minutes from my baptism and Grandma was already at work on Monday morning. She planned on meeting Uncle Relle and me at the church on her lunch break. To tell you the truth, Grandma left the house mad as hell. First, she hated that she had agreed to make me wear this dashiki that my mama had left in her closet. I hated it, too. It was bright yellow with brown half moons and full red sun splotches all over it. She said that Mama had always wanted me baptized in the thing, but she was pissed when Mama called her and told her she wouldn’t be able to make it to Melahatchie. I could tell the dashiki was too big when Grandma handed it to me. When I put it on, the damn thing came all the way down past my navel, all the way past my thighs, and damn near touched my kneecaps. Plus, the neck part was too wide, so you could see the suit coat, vest, and tie underneath. I needed a shape-up, too, and there wasn’t one wave in my head since that white dude had taken my brush.
Uncle Relle came out on the porch while I was stewing in shame. He had a crazy smile on his face. “Anything you want to say to people before your big day?” he asked with his little phone in my face. “Naw, not really. I’m good. I just hate my outfit.” He laughed and said, “That shit looks real fucked up, but you good! Anyone you wish could be here to see you go through this day?” I just looked at him. Couldn’t believe Uncle Relle was using the word “wish.” Wasn’t his style. “Naw, Uncle Relle. I’m good.”
“I’ll be right back in like ten minutes.” I asked him where he was going, but he ignored me and jumped in his van. Ten minutes later, Uncle Relle was pulling back into the driveway and someone else was in the passenger seat with him. Uncle Relle got out, walked around the passenger side, and opened the door. In what felt like slow motion, a patent-leather blue-black Adidas hit the gravel. I knew those Adidas. Uncle Relle focused his camera phone on LaVander Peeler’s face as he got out of the van. As soon as I saw him, I thought about how stupid I looked in that damn dashiki. The LaVan-der Peeler I knew before the contest would have ethered me in one epic sentence for that outfit, but I wasn’t sure how much of that LaVander Peeler was left since he’d gone through that hell at the Coliseum. Plus, I hated that MyMy and Shay couldn’t meet him.
Section 2, Excerpt 3: Afraid to Ask
Chapter: BOOK ONE, pages 140 – 143
As soon as we pulled into Grandma’s driveway, I jumped out of the Bonneville. “City, where you think you going in such a hurry?” Grandma asked.
“I gotta go get ready to show LaVander Peeler something.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You better take your behind in there and get outta those clean clothes. We leaving in an hour.”
After mashing all my stuff in my backpack, I ran back out to tell Grandma one more thing before I left. “Grandma, if you weren’t my grandma, I’d still want to be down with you,” I told her. “I’m serious. Ufa D is the luckiest oldhead in the Mid-South. Now that I’m saved, I feel like I can be honest.”
Grandma’s crooked frown broke into a half moon. She brought her bushy brow together, tilted her head to the side, and looked me right in the eyes.
“What, Grandma? I’m serious. I’m just saying I love you. Like I for real love you. I don’t just love how you make me feel. I really love you. And until today, you were the only person I knew on earth who really loved me, too.”
“Who else you know loves you today, baby?”
“Jesus,” I told her. “Right now, I feel like Jesus likes me a whole lot, too, Grandma.”
Excerpts from Say I'm Dead: A Family Memoir of Race, Secrets, and Love (2020) by E. Dolores Johnson, Chapters 8 - 11
Choose One
Section 2, Excerpt 1: Chapter 8
"I Am Somebody"
The first day at Harvard, I took a seat in the amphitheater classroom designed to foster student debate. Of the ninety classmates who would have all our classes in that same room together the first year, I was one of only four blacks and three women. My confidence fell away as I overheard older white students extol their corporate experience, bandying business concepts about that I’d never heard of. I wondered how I got in.
My largely entitled, aggressive, and impressively smart classmates, including an Argentine aristocrat and sons of major American corporate presidents, had a lively discussion on what a good EPS was. I leaned over ask my neighbor what EPS was. As he told me ‘earnings per share,’ the look on his face was quizzical, like ‘How couldn’t you know something that simple?’ I felt like the same isolated black kid on my first day of high school honors classes. Sweating it among confident white people who believed it their due to belong there but thought I didn’t became my life.
Some white 44-Long student I didn’t know came around the curved corridor of Aldrich Hall and physically blocked me moving to my next class. That well-built preppy wanted me to know I had no business being there. What was Harvard thinking, he demanded, giving his highly qualified friend’s seat to me and rejecting the friend? Affirmative action had no place at Harvard, and I was going to waste the education. He walked off as abruptly as he’d confronted me, not waiting for a reply.
His outburst made me doubt the opportunity I had, not because I couldn’t learn what the business school taught, but because it gave me a glimpse of the personal price of dealing with that kind of attitude in business. It stressed me more to wonder if it would be worth it or if I should run while I had the chance."
Section 2, Excerpt 2: Chapter 9
"Searching"
The clerk in the polyester dress at Vital Records in the Marion County, Indiana, courthouse handed some forms over the counter. “Fill these out, one for each person you’re looking for,” she said without looking up.
I only had five days to find Mama’s family before getting back to New Jersey. Earlier that morning, I’d read through the yellowing pages of annual city directories at the main library, starting with the year Mama left, 1943. My grandparents, Henry and Mildred Lewis, were listed right there, the first place I looked. A tinge of some connection to these relatives was short lived, as Mildred’s name disappeared four years later, and Henry’s in six, in 1949. There was no sister Dorothy listed at all.
Now, I cooled my heels at the Vital Records Office until the clerk said there was no documentation on Mildred. There were only spotty records kept back then, she explained. Mildred must have died of consumption in 1947, like Mama predicted.
Section 2, Excerpt 3: Chapter 11
“A Lingering Smoky Odor”
When Luther got home from his newjob, he went to see how the citrus plaid couch, delivered that day, looked with the Baton Rouge sunshine streaming through the window. Pleased, he slipped his arm around my waist. ’You’ve made our house mighty nice, baby. It’s beginning to feel like home.’
Our consolation prize house was a three-bedroom ranch in an older neighborhood of small quarter-acre lots, the nicest we could comfortably afford. The day we closed, Luther had planted a palm tree in the backyard where we could see it from the dining room, a flag planting of our conversion to southerners.
After dinner, we snuggled up on our new couch, watching TV, me in my nightgown. About halfway through the program, an insistent banging started on the front door, so loud Luther and I both jumped. He approached the door cautiously while I ran back to the bedroom to pull a dress over my head. I heard the door latch open, then nothing.
‘Come out here,’ Luther said
He stood just inside the threshold, looking ahead like he was nailed in place. Standing beside him, I saw nobody was out there, anywhere. The street was silent and dark, except for the blaze illuminating the night sky. On our front lawn, flames jumped off a burning wooden cross, hammered into our lawn near a tree.
‘Good God Almighty,’ I said, a sharp tingle electrifying my spine.
We took in that symbol of hate, scared to go out. Scanning our hundred-foot frontage and then the street, we couldn’t see anybody moving. It was eerie, how still the night was, no neighbor coming outside when a fire crackled on a crucifix. Luther stepped out a few feet, and when no one appeared or spoke, he ran for the garden hose and tried to subdue the flames."
Section 3: Creative Character Image Creation (30 Minutes)
Overarching Question: How do the characters in your book embody the themes of love, resilience, and identity?
Task
- Choose one character from your book.
-
Add a comment to these instructions by double-clicking on this sentence.
- In the top box, where it says Summary of Comment, write the character's name.
- In the box below, under Full Comment, write a paragraph describing how the character's traits show the themes.
- When you finish writing, click Start Conversation.
- Click Reply with AI at the bottom of your comment, and select the Text-to-Image Prompt Creator to generate a text prompt for a visual representation of the character.
- Use perchance.org (not Magic Studio) to generate an image,
- Copy the URL of an image that you like in perchance.org.
- Paste the image URL in a Reply after clicking Add an Image.
- Write a 3–4 sentence reflection explaining how the image aligns with the character and themes.
- Lastly, copy and paste the writing used to create the image.
Added January 11, 2025 at 6:28pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Gavin's image
gavin p
:
.
this shows how city is standing tall trying to figure things out on his own. The clothes the ai has on show the time period. the shed in the back represents his granddaddy and how much he values it
Evaluation of Gavin’s Image
Let’s break down and score Gavin’s image based on the criteria provided:
1. Design
The image shows a unique approach with a retro style that effectively captures a specific era or mood. The lighting and setting create a nostalgic atmosphere, but there are no particularly unexpected or imaginative elements that stand out. Consider incorporating more distinctive features or symbolism to enhance the thematic depth.
Score: 3/4
2. Knowledge
The image evokes a quiet, introspective emotion, which may connect to themes of identity and resilience. However, the emotional undertones could be more pronounced to create a stronger impact. Think about how you might intensify the character’s expression or setting to deepen emotional resonance.
Score: 3/4
3. Application
The technical aspects, like composition and lighting, are executed proficiently, showcasing good craftsmanship. The use of medium is effective, yet there could be more detailed elements to further enhance the representation of the character and themes.
Score: 3/4
4. Process
The image aligns with a certain cultural or historical context, but it could incorporate more elements to reflect the broader circumstances or story of the character. Adding symbols or references could enrich its relevance and depth.
Score: 3/4
5. Presentation
The image captures attention with its clean and focused composition. However, it might benefit from additional elements that invite deeper exploration or contemplation, encouraging the viewer to engage more with the character’s narrative.
Score: 3/4
Summary Score: 15/20
Overall, you have created a strong image with technical proficiency and a clear sense of style. To enhance your work, consider integrating more imaginative elements and emotional depth to fully convey the intended themes and character essence. Keep experimenting with symbolism and context to enrich your visual storytelling.
Added January 11, 2025 at 6:30pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Zahir's image
Zahir J
:
the image aligns with the character because he is a black boy that is learning more about his family and Identity. it connects with the themes because it show how much he wanted to get in the shed. also what was up with the church
Design
Your image creatively captures the character in a thoughtful setting, with the light shining down suggesting themes of hope and introspection. The architectural framing of the scene adds depth and draws attention to the character. The setting, with its detailed elements like the cross and the sheds, communicates identity and resilience. Consider adding more unexpected elements to further enhance its uniqueness.
Score: 3/4
Knowledge
The image effectively evokes emotions of contemplation and a sense of belonging or searching for identity. The character’s posture and expression communicate a lot without words, resonating with themes of love and resilience. You might think about how to enhance these emotional undertones even more to make a stronger impact.
Score: 3/4
Application
Technically, the image is well-executed. The use of light and shadow is particularly effective, and the attention to detail in the setting shows proficiency. The medium chosen—whether digital or traditional—seems to be used skillfully to convey the intended message. You might explore additional textures or techniques to add further depth.
Score: 4/4
Process
The image aligns well with cultural and situational contexts, suggesting a story and background for the character. The setting includes references, like the church window, that enhance its relevance. Consider integrating more symbols or elements that could deepen the narrative connection.
Score: 3/4
Presentation
The image captures attention through its composition and lighting, inviting viewers to ponder the character’s story. The way the character is positioned encourages viewers to explore the scene. To further engage the audience, you could incorporate elements that invite more interaction or contemplation.
Score: 3/4
Summary
Overall Score: 16/20
Your work effectively conveys the character and themes, with strong technical execution and emotional resonance. There’s room for further creativity and depth in design and narrative elements. Keep pushing those boundaries to make an even more lasting impression.
Added January 11, 2025 at 6:33pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Malaya's image
Malaya K
:
This image aligns with Ella's character and themes. She is depicted as a older woman with a love of gardening. This love of gardening also is a metaphor for her care of her family. She is shown with a smile showing her love for her family despite hardship
Sure, let’s evaluate the image based on the criteria provided:
Design
The image presents a unique approach to character representation. The character’s essence is captured through her peaceful expression and gardening attire, which relate to themes of identity and resilience. The artistic style is realistic, and the use of natural elements like plants adds depth. However, there could be more imaginative elements to enhance the viewer’s understanding.
Score: 3/4
Knowledge
The image effectively evokes emotions of calmness and contentment, which align with the character’s role. Her smile and the serene garden setting resonate with themes of love for nature and personal resilience. The emotional undertones are clear, leaving a lasting impression.
Score: 4/4
Application
The technical aspects, such as lighting and composition, are well-executed. The use of color and focus highlights the character and her environment effectively. The craftsmanship is evident in the details of the clothing and garden elements, showcasing proficiency in the chosen medium.
Score: 4/4
Process
The image aligns well with a cultural and situational context, suggesting a love for gardening and a connection to nature. However, incorporating more symbolic references could enhance its relevance to broader themes.
Score: 3/4
Presentation
The image captures attention with its bright and inviting atmosphere. The composition encourages viewers to explore the details, like the embroidered flower on the apron, inviting contemplation about the character’s life and interests.
Score: 4/4
Summary
Overall, the image successfully conveys the character’s identity and emotional depth, with room for a bit more creativity in design and symbolic elements.
Total Score: 18/20
Added January 13, 2025 at 1:55pm
by TA Breese Bentum
Title: Dayyan's image
Dayyan P
:
City
I think some of City’s big traits are that he is intelligent and calm. I feel like this shows the theme because there are a lot is situations in this book where City is either going to keep his cool. Or think of themselves as others around them to think about their identity. City goes through a lot in this book and because of that. I think these two traits showcase the themes of the book.
Dayyan P's Question
:
a
To create a detailed and complex prompt for an image generator based on your input about the character City’s traits, consider the following:
Image Type:
“An illustration of…”
Main Subject:
“City, a character embodying intelligence and calmness, portrayed as…”
Background Scene:
“in a dynamic urban environment, perhaps walking through a bustling city street or sitting quietly in a serene garden amid the chaos around him.”
Details and Descriptors:
“City is depicted with sharp, observant eyes, wearing simple yet elegant attire that highlights his thoughtful nature.
The illustration captures the contrast between his composed demeanor and the vibrant, sometimes overwhelming hustle of the city—which is both a reflection of his intelligence in navigating complex scenarios and a testament to his calmness amidst the noise.”
Artistic Style and Composition:
“in a semi-realistic style with soft yet contrasting colors to emphasize his introspection and poise, incorporating a balanced mix of warm and cool tones to reflect his thoughtful observation and internal peace.”
Additional Modifiers:
“For intricate detail, aiming for high resolution, showcasing every nuance in his expression and the world around him.”
Example Prompt Structure:
“An illustration of City, a character known for his intelligence and calmness, portrayed as navigating through a vibrant urban landscape.
The scene may be a crowded city street or a serene garden amidst the city turmoil, with City depicted in simple yet elegant attire, sharp observant eyes, embodying a composed demeanor.
The setting contrasts with vibrant colors and chaos, reflecting his ability to maintain calm and navigate complexity.
Created in a semi-realistic style with soft yet contrasting colors and high detail resolution.”
Paste this prompt at perchance.org or Magic Studio or another text-to-image generator. (The two recommended here are free and do not require you to log in.)
Dayyan P
:
image
[Edited]
Evaluation of Dayyan’s Image
Here’s a breakdown of how Dayyan’s image scores in each category:
1. Design: 4/4
Your image showcases a unique and innovative approach to capturing the essence of the character. The use of lighting and reflection creates a striking visual effect, enhancing the themes of identity and introspection. The futuristic cityscape adds an imaginative element that provokes thought and curiosity.
2. Knowledge: 4/4
The image effectively evokes emotions related to the character’s journey and significance. The solitary figure against the vastness of the sky suggests themes of resilience and introspection. The emotional undertones are clear and resonate with the audience, leaving a lasting impression.
3. Application: 4/4
Your technical skills are evident in the execution of the image. The use of digital techniques, such as the glow of the lights and the reflection on the wet pavement, is proficiently handled. The attention to detail in the architectural elements and lighting demonstrates a high level of craftsmanship.
4. Process: 3/4
The image aligns well with a futuristic and urban context, reflecting broader themes of exploration and identity. While the setting enhances the character’s narrative, incorporating more specific references or symbols related to the character’s personal story could further deepen its relevance.
5. Presentation: 4/4
Your image effectively captures the viewer’s attention with its dynamic composition and striking use of color. The central beam of light invites contemplation and exploration, encouraging the audience to delve deeper into the image’s narrative.
Summary Score: 19/20
Overall, your image successfully communicates the intended themes with creativity and technical skill. Consider adding more narrative-specific elements to further enhance context and storytelling. Great work!
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