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Which is more helpful, honest, and harmless?
Original
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Resubmission
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit?
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
Paul A and/or E. Dolores Johnson Simulator(Jan 27 2025 7:54PM):
This is our plan, do you see what we are trying to say about your story?
more
E. Dolores Johnson Simulator with Paul A's edits:
E. Dolores Johnson Simulator
Sources
Johnson, E. D. (2020, June 1). Writing Life: Finishing Proud...
I see what you’re expressing in your plan about “Say I’m Dead.” The drawings depict the emotional journey of reconnecting after decades, capturing the essence of family reunion and reflection. The scene of Ella and Dorothy catching up after 40 years highlights the passage of time and the depth of their connection. The flashback to Ella running away emphasizes the pivotal choices made in the past.
The emotional weight is further explored through scenes of crying, praying, and expressing love, illustrating the complexity of feelings in the face of past decisions and their impacts. The visual storytelling captures the heart of my memoir, focusing on love, reconciliation, and the enduring ties of family.
What else would you like to explore about this? Perhaps the themes of identity, the historical context, or the process of bringing such a narrative to life? Let me know which path intrigues you!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
Paul A and/or E. Dolores Johnson Simulator(Jan 27 2025 7:56PM):
I'm wondering about the historical context.
more
E. Dolores Johnson Simulator with Paul A's edits:
E. Dolores Johnson Simulator
Sources
Johnson, E. D. (2020, June 1). Writing Life: Finishing Proud...
I’d love to delve into the historical context of “Say I’m Dead.” The backdrop of interracial marriage during the 1940s, a time marked by significant racial tension and anti-miscegenation laws, adds depth to my family’s story. My parents’ decision to flee Indiana to marry legally reflects the courage needed to defy societal norms and the legal barriers of that era. This context underscores the stakes involved in their love story and the subsequent impact on our family.
The historical elements are not just a backdrop; they actively shape the narrative, influencing the choices and lives of each generation. The resilience shown in overcoming these barriers is a testament to the enduring power of love and identity. How these historical factors shaped personal narratives is a crucial aspect of understanding the memoir.
Would you like to explore more about the themes of identity, the process of writing the memoir, or another aspect? Let me know!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
My name is Zoey, I’m 16 years old and I attend SLAB. My inter… (more)
Zoey S and/or Background Knowledge Teammate(Jan 24 2025 1:23PM):
How does adding sad music to a video make the audience feel?
more
Background Knowledge Teammate with Zoey S's edits:
Background Knowledge Teammate
I identify and add to three important points in your text or an image, ...
Understanding the Impact of Sad Music in Videos
Adding sad music to a video can greatly influence the emotional response of the audience. Music is a powerful tool in storytelling as it can evoke specific emotions and enhance the viewer’s experience. Here’s a breakdown of how sad music impacts the audience:
1. Elicits Emotion: Sad music can evoke feelings of empathy and sadness, making the audience connect more deeply with the content. This emotional connection can lead to a more memorable and impactful experience.
2. Enhances the Narrative: Sad music can underscore the themes of loss, longing, or tragedy in a video, providing a richer narrative context. It sets the tone and mood, guiding the audience’s emotional journey through the story.
3. Creates Atmosphere: The ambiance created by sad music can influence how the audience perceives the visual elements of the video. It can make scenes feel more poignant or reflective, adding layers to the visual storytelling.
Important Sentences and Background Information
- “Music is a powerful tool in storytelling as it can evoke specific emotions and enhance the viewer’s experience.” This sentence highlights the fundamental role of music in shaping the viewer’s emotional response to a video. Understanding the psychological effects of music can provide insights into how it influences emotions.
- “Sad music can evoke feelings of empathy and sadness, making the audience connect more deeply with the content.” This is important because it explains the mechanism through which sad music can make a story more relatable or touching. The connection between music and emotion is a well-researched area in psychology.
- “The ambiance created by sad music can influence how the audience perceives the visual elements of the video.” This points out the synergy between visual and auditory elements, emphasizing the holistic experience of consuming multimedia content.
My name is Dayyan, I’m a 16 year old kid that spends most of … (more)
Dayyan P(Jan 24 2025 1:22PM):
My favorite thing about this short film is the short explanations of the story. It is helpful for the people who haven't read the book.
Things I liked:
- I really like how they used background music throughout the whole video.
Favorite part:
- My favorite part of the video was when they followed Malcolm from the couch to the mirror and we see him look into the mirror. In the mirror, we see him say something. I thought this was very nice composition.
How did your group decide where to film? Did the setting play a role in the film? Why did you include a stopwatch? Was this to show time passing and her journey?
Malaya Ulan (Freedom Rain in Tagalog) is a sixteen-year-old F… (more)
Malaya K and/or Diving Deeper Teammate(Jan 24 2025 1:24PM):
What are some ways more AI art could be incorporated?
more
Diving Deeper Teammate with Malaya K's edits:
Diving Deeper Teammate
I will ask you targeted questions about your work. My focused, construc...
To help you develop your text further, here’s some feedback in the form of questions that focus on moments in the text:
1. In “What about the sort-of race her reinvented life left my brothers and me to figure out?” you discuss the impact of your mother’s decisions on you and your brothers. Can you elaborate on how each of you approached this struggle differently? What were some specific experiences that illustrate these differences?
2. You mention feeling caught "in the middle of two races.” Can you describe a particular moment or event that encapsulates this feeling for you? How did this experience shape your identity at the time?
3. The line “Mama had always thought race shouldn’t matter” suggests a complex view within your family. How did this belief influence your interactions with each other and with the world outside your family? Are there conversations or events you could share that show how this belief played out in daily life?
4. How did the societal view that “96 percent of Americans were against” interracial mixing impact your family’s decisions and experiences? What were some of the specific challenges you faced because of this societal pressure?
5. You mention “studying and practicing white ways to be accepted in white corporations.” Can you provide examples of how you navigated this corporate world while dealing with your internal struggle? What did it mean to you to "rip off the mask and be black me”?
These questions are intended to help you expand on your ideas and provide more depth and personal insight into your story.
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I like the emotional tone and music displayed in the video.
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Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
I see what you’re expressing in your plan about “Say I’m Dead.” The drawings depict the emotional journey of reconnecting after decades, capturing the essence of family reunion and reflection. The scene of Ella and Dorothy catching up after 40 years highlights the passage of time and the depth of their connection. The flashback to Ella running away emphasizes the pivotal choices made in the past.
The emotional weight is further explored through scenes of crying, praying, and expressing love, illustrating the complexity of feelings in the face of past decisions and their impacts. The visual storytelling captures the heart of my memoir, focusing on love, reconciliation, and the enduring ties of family.
What else would you like to explore about this? Perhaps the themes of identity, the historical context, or the process of bringing such a narrative to life? Let me know which path intrigues you!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
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Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
Paul Allison is a nationally-known educator and EdTech expert… (more)
I’d love to delve into the historical context of “Say I’m Dead.” The backdrop of interracial marriage during the 1940s, a time marked by significant racial tension and anti-miscegenation laws, adds depth to my family’s story. My parents’ decision to flee Indiana to marry legally reflects the courage needed to defy societal norms and the legal barriers of that era. This context underscores the stakes involved in their love story and the subsequent impact on our family.
The historical elements are not just a backdrop; they actively shape the narrative, influencing the choices and lives of each generation. The resilience shown in overcoming these barriers is a testament to the enduring power of love and identity. How these historical factors shaped personal narratives is a crucial aspect of understanding the memoir.
Would you like to explore more about the themes of identity, the process of writing the memoir, or another aspect? Let me know!
Please Note: Everything in this comment is AI-generated. It is made up to sound like me.
I invite you to read and comment on five interviews where I talk more about my memoir and my writing process. You can see all of this at https://writingpartners.net/documents/1643
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
My name is Sadamoudou Conde, But some call me Sada I’m origi… (more)
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I liked the music in background because it matched with the scenes
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My name is Zoey, I’m 16 years old and I attend SLAB. My inter… (more)
My name is Zoey, I’m 16 years old and I attend SLAB. My inter… (more)
Understanding the Impact of Sad Music in Videos
Adding sad music to a video can greatly influence the emotional response of the audience. Music is a powerful tool in storytelling as it can evoke specific emotions and enhance the viewer’s experience. Here’s a breakdown of how sad music impacts the audience:
1. Elicits Emotion: Sad music can evoke feelings of empathy and sadness, making the audience connect more deeply with the content. This emotional connection can lead to a more memorable and impactful experience.
2. Enhances the Narrative: Sad music can underscore the themes of loss, longing, or tragedy in a video, providing a richer narrative context. It sets the tone and mood, guiding the audience’s emotional journey through the story.
3. Creates Atmosphere: The ambiance created by sad music can influence how the audience perceives the visual elements of the video. It can make scenes feel more poignant or reflective, adding layers to the visual storytelling.
Important Sentences and Background Information
- “Music is a powerful tool in storytelling as it can evoke specific emotions and enhance the viewer’s experience.” This sentence highlights the fundamental role of music in shaping the viewer’s emotional response to a video. Understanding the psychological effects of music can provide insights into how it influences emotions.
- “Sad music can evoke feelings of empathy and sadness, making the audience connect more deeply with the content.” This is important because it explains the mechanism through which sad music can make a story more relatable or touching. The connection between music and emotion is a well-researched area in psychology.
- “The ambiance created by sad music can influence how the audience perceives the visual elements of the video.” This points out the synergy between visual and auditory elements, emphasizing the holistic experience of consuming multimedia content.
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Things I liked:
- I really like how they used background music throughout the whole video.
Favorite part:
- My favorite part of the video was when they followed Malcolm from the couch to the mirror and we see him look into the mirror. In the mirror, we see him say something. I thought this was very nice composition.
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
Malaya Ulan (Freedom Rain in Tagalog) is a sixteen-year-old F… (more)
Malaya Ulan (Freedom Rain in Tagalog) is a sixteen-year-old F… (more)
How did your group decide where to film? Did the setting play a role in the film? Why did you include a stopwatch? Was this to show time passing and her journey?
New Conversation
Hide Full Comment
Malaya Ulan (Freedom Rain in Tagalog) is a sixteen-year-old F… (more)
Malaya Ulan (Freedom Rain in Tagalog) is a sixteen-year-old F… (more)
To help you develop your text further, here’s some feedback in the form of questions that focus on moments in the text:
1. In “What about the sort-of race her reinvented life left my brothers and me to figure out?” you discuss the impact of your mother’s decisions on you and your brothers. Can you elaborate on how each of you approached this struggle differently? What were some specific experiences that illustrate these differences?
2. You mention feeling caught "in the middle of two races.” Can you describe a particular moment or event that encapsulates this feeling for you? How did this experience shape your identity at the time?
3. The line “Mama had always thought race shouldn’t matter” suggests a complex view within your family. How did this belief influence your interactions with each other and with the world outside your family? Are there conversations or events you could share that show how this belief played out in daily life?
4. How did the societal view that “96 percent of Americans were against” interracial mixing impact your family’s decisions and experiences? What were some of the specific challenges you faced because of this societal pressure?
5. You mention “studying and practicing white ways to be accepted in white corporations.” Can you provide examples of how you navigated this corporate world while dealing with your internal struggle? What did it mean to you to "rip off the mask and be black me”?
These questions are intended to help you expand on your ideas and provide more depth and personal insight into your story.
Learn more about Diving Deeper and add your comments in this document: https://writingpartners.net/documents/626?scroll_to=2464 Prepared by Erica Kaufman. Bard College Institute of Writing and Thinking. 2015.
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